What Living Sober Is All About

I can never remember a time before I started drinking when I felt at ease. I was constantly in a state of fear. Fear of what other people thought of me, fear that I wasn’t doing the right thing or I was dumb, or that no one would like me. Fear that if I was myself something terrible would happen. All that fear kept me trapped. I didn’t think of myself as self-absorbed because I hated myself, but I really was. I was always telling people what I thought they wanted to hear and doing what I thought others wanted to me to do. I was never authentic and my emotional pain came out in all sorts of unhealthy ways.