At Wit’s End
A guy goes into a bar and sits down next to a drunk man, who’s with a dog.
“Your dog nice?” the guy asks. “Yep,” the drunk answers.
The guy then puts his hand out and the dog snaps and nearly takes it off.
“Yikes!” the guy says, quickly pulling back his hand. “I thought your dog was OK!”
“Not my dog,” says the drunk.
I was a discriminating tosspot. If the wine bottle didn’t have a screw-off cap, I wasn’t interested.
Two drunks are walking along the railroad tracks, sharing a bottle of booze.
The first drunk boasts to the second, “You know, someday I am going to buy this railroad.”
The second drunk looks at him, smiles and replies smugly, “I ain’t gonna sell.”
Run with the winners
I like coming to AA.
There’s already more “A”s than I got in high school!
True love is the willingness to compromise: He agrees to cut back on red meat. She agrees that beer is a vegetable.
Green Valley, Ariz