Jumpstart

When I was sober for 17 years in AA, I felt that my recovery was at a crossroads. I was bereft of enthusiasm. I felt restless and bothered. By what, exactly, I didn’t know. I only knew that a voice was stirring within me that whispered…There has to be more to this recovery thing. More than the same seat in the third row, the shades, the Slogans, the coffee and the cookies on the back table. 



 No, it wasn’t just my home group, it was every group. For me, it all felt the same at every meeting, except for the people. I was becoming indifferent to my recovery, doing things by rote repetition instead of real desire. The icing on the cake was the death of my beloved sponsor. I realized that I was working the Twelve Steps—in reverse. 



Let me backpedal over 10 long years. I’d had a serious accident, and subsequent surgery knocked me out of everything: a successful and fulfilling career, day to day contact with my AA family and my own self-image. Deep depression and anxiety became my lot, along with medications and cognitive behavioral therapy. I was placed on a regimen of physical therapy and medications. I took strong pain medications and lost many days to sleeping. 



Through all this, AA never gave up on me. Friends called me. I got rides to meetings and special events, but I didn’t have my own mobility. I was more “around AA” than in it. I slowly drifted away.



I lost about seven years of anniversary coins, and some of my contacts began to fade. It was as if I were becoming an “AA loner.” A worn copy of the Big Book is not a great substitute for a warm home group. 



One day in the late spring of 2017, I woke up early (for a change) and a magical thing happened. I began to pray, according to my religious tradition. Then I began to to meditate about creation, family, friends and all the things I was grateful for—yes, AA too. I walked out my front door as if driven by an unseen force, got into my car and drove to my old home group AA meeting. I felt full of embarrassment and uncertainty. 



A few of the old-timers recognized me and warmly welcomed me back. The air conditioning in the back room where the meeting had moved for the hot seasons was refreshing and, for once, I thought the coffee tasted good. The speaker was a new gal I’d never heard before. It was a Traditions meeting and the topic was Tradition Two, covering trusted servants and their responsibilities. 



Something within me stirred. This was an aspect of AA that I had never looked at before. I considered my current blasé attitude toward AA and I remembered the words of my old sponsor, “Unless something changes, nothing changes.” 

After the meeting, I was approached by the group chair, a woman who I recognized from my early recovery, but she didn’t remember me. Taking a chance, she came right up to me. “How many years do you have sober?” she asked. “Almost 17,” I replied.



Without missing a beat, she said, “Well, how would you like to be our Intergroup Rep?” “I would like that very much,” I replied, really on auto pilot. 



So after an impromptu mid-month group vote, I was confirmed and on my way. I wasn’t really sure what I was on my way toward, I just knew that it was different than what “the old me” was used to. Oh, I had done service before, but only at the group level, including making coffee and cleaning up, the usual stuff, except for a one-year stint as a group secretary. This new commitment with Intergroup turned out to be uncharted territory, by which I was pleasantly surprised. 



 I was welcomed with gusto among the ranks of the other reps and the executive board member and the various committee chairs at Intergroup. The orientation for new reps was friendly and gratifying. My task was simple enough: Bring back the monthly Intergroup newsletters, meeting lists and flyers to give to the group secretary, and something much more important—I was to vote the group conscience. 



 This was the change, the stimulus I had been craving all along. I felt like I’d been given jumper cables to restart my program. Soon, my group told me I was doing a good job. That positive affirmation plus a growing sense of gratitude, I believe, put me on a good path. 



 Then I took an Intergroup committee chair position that no one wanted, and which was considered difficult. I became the chairman of our county’s nighttime hotline, affectionately dubbed, “The Nightbook.” It turned out to be extremely demanding of my time, yet rewarding work nonetheless.



 My job was to get a group of volunteers each week to cover our hotline when the office was closed from 5:00 p.m. until 9:00 a.m. Each night there was a different volunteer. I got to know many AAs and got a vicarious sense of satisfaction when they told me of alcoholics they had helped by the service that I helped them carry out. 



The “service bug” bit and it bit hard. I was now off to the races. It was a natural progression for me to become a GSR (General Service Rep), where my real AA study began. I devoured the “GSR kit” from AA World Services. After a year, I was elected to be DCM (District Committee Member) of a “cluster” of three districts, which is the organization format in Nassau County, as well as many other areas with small districts.



I was then elected to the position of second vice chair of Nassau County Intergroup and also the accessibilities chairman of our county’s general services. My forte is organizing many different types of workshops on such diverse topics as sponsorship, as well as one that is near and dear to my heart, our AA Grapevine writing workshop. 



Next to the Big Book, my favorite in the pantheon of AA literature is our book AA Comes of Age. This book, more than any other, made my service come alive. It has a very stirring chapter in it which resonates strongly with those of us who do service below the group level. It tells the story of the AA International Convention held in St. Louis in July of 1955. On the last day of the Convention, Bill W. and the other early AA pioneers (minus Dr. Bob, who had sadly passed away in 1950) handed over control of AA’s World Services and the ongoing work of all of our committees and publications to us, the members. In other words, AA’s adolescence was at an end. The Fellowship had “come of age” and the General Service Conference, made up of delegates freely chosen from amongst the group members, were responsible for carrying on AA’s Three Legacies of Recovery, Unity and Service. 



What motivates my service work is my sense of responsibility to those who elected me. Service is not a right in AA, it’s a privilege to see that AA’s group conscience will always be “the leader” in all our affairs. 



So, I have lifted the “hood” of AA service work, poked around the engine, and even kicked the tires. I’m so grateful for this privilege. I pray that you too will get the chance to take the ride of your life.