A Fringe Player

During my early AA experience, I was what some would call a “fringe player.” I have a tendency to stay on the sidelines and be an observer, rather than a participant. The thoughts swirling around within me at the time included: “What if they don’t like me?” and “I need to have an exit strategy, so I don’t get too close to anybody” (in reference to reaching out to someone in the program). Sometimes it was: “That seems like too much work” or ”I don’t know if I’m ready for that” (concerning recommendations in the Big Book, for example).