No defense
October 2022 | Relapse | On the Cover

No defense

As her meetings slipped away, the wine started looking good. Then one day she reached for the glass

I was 35 when I came to AA. That was back in 1981. The night before my first meeting, I drank so much and took so many pills laced with phenobarbital that I passed out, wet my bed and vomited throughout the night. In the morning, I happened to look in the mirror and was startled to find that I didn’t know the person looking back at me. I was a physical wreck. My eyes were sunken. My skin was bloated and slightly yellowed. Where had I gone?


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