At ease

As an active alcoholic, I lived with a constant feeling of loneliness. My predominant thought was that life was better elsewhere, in another town, another country, another continent. Somewhere else lay happiness, just beyond but never today, right here in my hometown of New York. This feeling was sometimes briefly alleviated with an escape trip out of town through my work on a film production or visiting relatives in Europe. Each time, when I returned home dread would sink in at the thought of actually facing my unmanageable life.