The Know-It-All

In about my second year of sobriety, I went through a self-righteous, know-it-all, Big Book-thumping, AA “cop” phase of recovery. I was critiquing everyone in my meetings. I was setting everyone right, all in the interest of saving newcomers’ lives. I even went so far as to tell an oldtimer that he should be brought before the magistrate for accessory to murder with the half-measured crap coming out of his mouth. I look back at that time in my recovery with shame at my behavior. I’d give a million dollars not to have gone through that phase. Yet I’d give it all back not to have missed the lessons I learned about myself. My life was a mess back then and I was barely hanging on. I looked for outside things to blame instead of looking at myself. I must have overlooked the Big Book telling us our troubles are of our own making.