A Mother’s Day Wish

Two years before I got to AA, I gave birth to a baby boy. He was beautiful and healthy, but I was not so beautiful or ready to take on the responsibility of raising a child. I gave him away. Before leaving the hospital, I had the nurse unwrap my son from his blanket so I could see his fingers and toes. I just knew I couldn’t hold him because I would never let him go. I left the hospital without a tear. I held it in to not show my parents or others how broken my heart was. Instead, I buried my feelings in alcohol.