40 Years, 80,000 Spoons

Before entering AA, I lived in depression and fear. In the last two years of my drinking I just wanted to die. I sat on the couch each night thinking of my glorious past, when my professors thought I had so much potential. They wanted me to get into a doctoral program. At the time, I sucked all that up and dreamed big dreams. I was going to change the world—fight for the underdog. All those dreams were dissolved by my drinking. I just wanted to hang on to a job that could finance my need for booze.