From the June 2011 magazine.

The Moon in Gemini

She came to one night lying face down on the ground and knew that something had to change

"It was late November and the moon was in Gemini, a time of change and possibilities."

I came to lying naked on the frigid ground under a clear November moon. The points of grass felt like needles in my skin. As I turned over onto my back, I thought to myself, "So this is what it feels like to be dead," I whispered through my tears, "I give up! I let go, I surrender! I beg for help. I plead for guidance. I give up control. I am willing."

I got up and ran into my house. I grabbed the phone and dialed Jay's number. She answered on the first ring. She knew why I was calling, this being the fourth such call in a month's time. I thought she'd tell me she was tired of hearing my wretched story, how once again I drank and used, and stole, how the terrifying panic attack left me in a state of thinking I was dying. But she didn't. Having fourteen years of sobriety, and being a medicine woman and pipe carrier of the native tradition, she knew something I didn't. She asked me if really wanted to quit drinking.

-- Patty A.

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