Grapevine Online Exclusive

Grapevine Memories

An AA tells the story of how the magazine helped her get and stay sober

I was a bit unable to understand the Big Book for quite awhile when I got sober though not for lack of trying. I agonized over it, looked the words up, and struggled, often crying. There may have been self-pity involved. Whatever the case, I understood the stories in the back of the Big Book, major chunks of them, anyways. I could relate to them. So, when I started outpatient treatment—it took me awhile to become willing to go to meetings—I had nothing to support my recovery aside from Sober Living. I was forever looking for my millions of relapse triggers before a sponsor taught me that "Think, Think, Think" didn't apply to me.

Fortunately, right after I started to attend meetings, which I did only because my treatment counselor broke her own anonymity and invited me to hear her story, I was introduced to the Grapevine. I know someone bought me a subscription shortly thereafter. And, starting at the Anchor Group on Eastside in Washington on Wednesday evenings where I was the official greeter, I bought back issues cheap. I did so repeatedly at a few quarters apiece so that groups could continue to stock their racks with boxes of back issues of the Grapevine. In those days, I always expected them to be there for me—both the people and the Grapevine.

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