Burning Desire to Share
They are using aa, for punshing others that don't share thier believes! The right extremist! They love thier own! And would bully others thur manipulation! And being unfair! Only thier right wing buddies are right! Everbody else should die! To them and thier ego! Very sick people western md.
Just my own experience....If it was a half a glass, a full glass or 10 glasses, I picked up the drink long time for I actually did. Some piece of my AA puzzle (life) was missing. Most of the time I wasn't being honest and convinced myself I wasn't an alcoholic. I have never been the kind of alcoholic that went somewhere and i "just" picked up the drink and asked myself "how did that happen?" And if I found myself posting a question on here like that, I am looking for someone to co-sign my crap.
Suggestion.....call your sponsor and please if you don't have one it would be best if you get to some meetings and seek some recovery. That is a very slippery place to be.
From a recent post a member shared, “We almost collapsed in 1992/1993.” I would take that as you feel AA had a Golden Age once which connected well with a specific culture of believers, but has devolved in some way? Do you feel although we served a purpose and did a tremendous amount of good, inevitably we have failed to connect with the current cultural mindsets of the majority of alcoholics entering the rooms today? It’s true the originators were men from a different era whose philosophies and imaginations were influenced by the manufacturers of social types and philosophies of their time. Society has changed since the early days and the scientific community has brought about new revelations in addiction biochemistry but the philosophy behind AA is solid. I believe it’s the political infighting within groups harming the image of AA and not the integrity of the people that serve the various positions in AA who I admire and respect very much. From my observations, it’s the way we conduct our meetings and our self-righteous behaviors that has to change. When groups try to control the pulpit and over-structure the AA meeting while dictating to newcomer’s rigid formulas and threats of relapse we fail Bill and Bob. An AA group ought to provide HOPE and not threats. Our group decided to take down the banners and slogans and we do not celebrate anniversaries because we feel all of this makes us look cultist and the newcomer entering the rooms already thinks we are so why reinforce their misconceptions. We simply open the discussion meeting with a few things. We read the Preamble and then give the mention to silence the cell phones. We ask people to share their experience, strength, and hope as it applies to the topic. For example, relapse, withdrawal, love, unselfishness and tolerance are all topics which have been brought up recently. The chairperson is responsible for the topic relevant to their week. We do have a literature and book table with all the important information available. We are certainly grateful for the old way but, reading books and literature can be done at home if one desires to read and study. Finally, let’s say your fear comes true and AA collapses. Do you think members will start drinking again all of a sudden? No, we will regroup and rebuild because the founders initially laid down a pretty strong foundation for us.
6 and one-half years sober…then I went on a cruise this summer and had 1/2 glass of champagne….according to AA: Do I really have to start over counting?
before getting sober. Dishonesty will kick our butts. You ain't the only one.
That's a question for you to answer... I think by you asking the question, you know the answer...
As an alcoholic, I know that alcohol is poison to me. I may as well drink Drano.The sanity that was returned to me in the steps of AA was the ability to see very clearly the relationship between my hand and the hot stove and to not think this time I won't get burned. What would concern me greatly is to find that I'd lost that level of sanity and thought I could safely take a drink. That would open a pandora's box of horrors for me.
As for counting. That would be between me and my wife, my sponsor, my close AA friends, my home group and, most importantly,my self and my Higher Power. I have accidentally taken a sip of the wrong drink. My immediate instinct is to spit it out which I do as quickly and discreetly as possible. No reset there. Knowingly drinking alcohol would be a break in my sobriety and I would consider myself in serious danger.
Hang in there and keep coming back. All any of us really have is today and today is good if I can be open and honest with myself, my fellows & my HP.
AA Is a program of honesty. It is based on what you feel in your heart. You never lose the sober time that you have earned in AA. You have received tools to live a sober life. You have received the knowledge from the rooms of AA. Move on with your sober life and the Spiritual foundation that you have earned and don't worry about the petty misshaps of a single moment. God Bless Stay Safe and learn from your experence.
Love and Service Ron M. 24 years.
My first sponsor said "You slip on a bannana peel" I will share with you that I had 25+ years of "sobriety" but was using and abusing perscription drugs of the opiate nature (vicodin,oxycontin and the like which are now discribed as synthetic heroin). I changed my sobriety date to coincide with my stopage of taking these drugs, and now have 13+ years(clean & Sober). I believe that what I really have is today, and that's what counts. I can't and won't give you advice, but you can figure it out if you are truley honest with yourself....
You were 6.5 years sober and had to ask a question like that? It appears you were physically sober only and soliciting an answer from this site seems ridiculous to me. You relapsed long before you picked up that drink. Now that I’ve shamed you, people do relapse in AA. That’s what we do. Why the person on your left has thirty years sobriety and the person on your right has become a “wet” brain from chronic relapse no one really knows. There are theories out there in the rooms and battles to what theories are correct. My suggestion would be to see a mental health professional and get honest with them because apparently you have not been too honest with yourself as of lately although you did reach out to this site which is a wonderful start. Please, do not minimalize drinking champagne. Think, Think, Think and for what it's worth; for many years I was the “I” that God didn’t grace.
Everything you learned in your 6 1/2 years sober you haven't lost, right? If you improved your life and worked on your character defects, you still improved your life, did you not? One drink is not going to take that away.
If I had to criticize AA for one thing, it would be for this counting of sobriety time. When people slip they feel like they've lost status in the rooms. But I've met people with multiple years of sobriety who are awful people, and I've met people with only brief periods of sobriety who are happily and usefully whole. All any of us has is today.
Just my opinion.
Is AA broken? Works fine in my neighborhood. It’s fashionable and sexy today to say everything is broken. So why not say AA is broken too? Well, it’s not; it’s just different. I got sober in 83. People change, meeting format styles change and even the spiritual and trendy gobbledygook changes. I’m not sure when this broken stuff started but, it’s been around a long time but, AA has been around longer. If I could add one thing to this recent discussion it would be that members should stop bringing into AA the political zeitgeist influences of our times and focus on the commonalities we share in the rooms. We should stick to what the Preamble has laid out for us. If AA fails it’s because people are too busy defending their egos. It’s spiritual tyranny to control what the righteous and true AA meeting or recovery style looks like; anyway it’s against everything our founders believed in. We are united by a common problem and purpose. These ambitions are supported by our individual recovery solutions which in many cases will look much different than the person sitting next to us whose resolutions for alcoholism might appear restrictive or flaky. It the person across the table sounds different, think of their good points and relax. You probably seem like a weirdo to them in return. Meditate on diversity and you will know a new freedom and happiness.
Maybe like Tobacco ADDs "Its works " more people are being Educated about Alcohol.
I was in a meeting just yesterday and I shared about what was going to keep me from that FIRST drink again and someone opening attacked my comment
I brushed it off at the time at a stupid remark form a stupid person, but after sleeping on it Iam pissed off.
One of the many things I love about AA meetings is that we encourage people to share their experience; not their opinions. I can't really argue with another's experience. It is what it is.
I also like that we discourage crosstalk or commenting directly at group level on what another person shares. This gives people the freedom to share honestly and openly. I've seen crosstalk kill meetings and run folks out of AA.
Over the years, members have approached me after a meeting to express concern or give me guidance over what I'd shared. Sometimes this stings a bit. But every time, I realized they were right and that it took a lot of love and courage for them to approach me. In two particular instances, they may have saved my life.
rward, Better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.
There are a lot of stupid people in AA today. "They seem
to have been born that way". Personally, I am trying to
develop enough humility not to be "vexed" by the
behavior of others. I borrowed "vexed" from a plaque which
Dr. Bob kept on his desk. It is a wonderful definition
of humility. I am still searching for more of that
precious ingredient for happy sobriety. ANONYMOUS
Not everyone is going to agree or like what we say, it is like this everywhere you go. People judge opinions, comments, life experiences etc. it is not important on what they think or what they believe we should do. What is important is listening and taking what we like, apply it to our life and leave the rest. It is hard at times I know it is to let go of these people, but their only going to rob you of serenity and gain free rent space in your head. If you let this continue to piss you off, where is there room for peace of mind? Your cup is overflowing and therefore you don't have space to put good in it. Empty your cup first, and you will gain wisdom. I am currently battling something similar to that only in my professional life. I am being persecuted by someone at work. It's obvious someone who wastes their time trying to ruin me, is obviously ruined themselves. I ask my higher power to empty my cup everyday to see past all this garbage. In the end I learn I am no better than that person, and it is not for me to judge them, nor should I think of them. Principals before personalities.
Question why is it I can walk away from my 29 year drinking career yet when access to a pill pops up I don't think twice about popping it? I know it's harmful to me, but the buzz which once was given from the golden hops I loved so much is off limits I seem to have moved to other harmful vises.
Please explain if you can why we must disconnect.
I am going to see my brothers tonight in a meeting and ask this very question.
I just re set my counter again not my booze counter, I've been good at staying a way from that! I've re set my buzz counter.
Am I the only one who looks at this addiction to a buzz as all being basically same?
Question do I need to be in AA an NA? I've been dry for 3.5 years but I was crutching with narcotics. Surely I'm not the only one out there
In just done letting my god down, letting my self down and letting my family down.
There is a lot of info out there about alcoholism & addiction. Without going there, I'll just say that alcohol was my primary problem and in my program of AA, all mind altering chems are off limits. Recovery in AA was about learning how to live sober & free.
That said, recovery for me was like peeling an onion. There were problems & issues I could not be aware of until I removed the chemicals and worked the steps. AA gave me the tools and freedom to explore all of it - food, sugar, tobacco, sex, exercise....whatever...and to build a balanced and healthy life.
AA is the solid foundation upon which my life is built but I am free to add on to and remodel the life that is built on that foundation through counseling, therapy, other 12 step programs, religion, yoga, meditation or whatever is needed and works.
All of them na aa ma ca cma all have the same message ur definitely not a disappointment to god
Alcoholics/Addicts have difficult brain chemistry. That’s why very few of us stay sober and for many of us one time or another we also have had to struggle with other addictions. Whether it nicotine, caffeine, food, sex, sugar, gambling to just about anything; by using these others things we compromise our recoveries. The founders struggled too, so it is not a new development. Our wiring's are damaged and the buzz makes us feel normal or at least numb. After a few years in AA I quit nicotine, but soon discovered certain foods could change my mood and I became overweight. I went on a diet and lost the weight but started jogging. Sure enough I found I was getting an endorphin buzz and started to run marathons while damaging my joints at the same time. After the doctor warned me to stop for a while, I started pressuring my wife for sex 24/7. Of course, she got annoyed so then I found that diet colas calmed me and I started to drink a case a day and so on.
Finally, I realized I wasn’t getting any better by going to meetings alone. No god or book was returning me to sanity. Eventually, I saw a medical doctor. After being diagnosed with PTSD I began to deal with the problems which were causing me to split out into all these other negative activities. Today, I can enjoy meetings and my mind is more stable and I don’t rely on a buzz. I have learned to deal with the PTSD without trying to medicate the pain away with all the other things. Whether you attend this meeting or that meeting who is to say which is better for you? I’d see a medical doctor or psychiatrist first…and for once in a life demonstrate fearless honesty! You are on the right track by reaching out!
I recently heard an AA member state at a meeting: "Honesty without compassion is brutality".
Reading HIW aloud at AA meetings is brutal to newcomers. "What an order! Let me out of here".
Of course they don't say that. They just don't come back, although that is the last advice
we chant: "Keep Coming Back".
We need to offer the Truth with an equal serving of Grace. Anyone ever wonder why Bill W.
waited until Chapter Five to write How it Works in the Big Book? He concealed the Truth in
Chapter Five, trusting that our prospect will read the first four chapters to build up
some faith. By that time hopefully they will be able to handle the truth, or at least
consider it. ANONYMOUS
Do you suppose newcomers might be put off by all the bleeding deacons hanging around feeling sorry for themselves because AA isn’t the good old AA they think they remember when coffee was a dime? No, AA isn’t the same, nor is General Motors, telephone party lines or Hostess Twinkies. Looks like AA is going to need members with a lot of ink, facial hardware and Big Books on their phones for a new crop of alcoholics to relate to. We dinosaurs are limited with what we can do for newcomers. Spreading gloom and doom isn’t part of it.
I had the good fortune of taking Philosophy 201 – Logic, decades ago and it’s lessons stuck with me better than courses in my major of engineering. Such as the argument; A happened then B happened therefore A caused B. Sometimes it sounds logical but it falls apart under scrutiny. For example Bill went to the bar on Wednesday and had a wreck on the way home therefore Bill shouldn’t drive on Wednesdays. All of your arguments fit this category. You don’t have the information available to conclude that one thing caused the other. You are simply complaining about something you don’t like and trying to hide it behind a smokescreen.
For those of you that are unfamiliar with AA’s service structure there are thousands of AA members active in trying to make AA as good as it can be. Some of us are grateful for their hard work and think they are doing great. Ask your group’s GSR about it. No, I’m not blowing my own horn. I served a hitch as GSR and then stepped aside to let someone else improve their sobriety, appreciation and knowledge of AA.
Bill and Bob wrote “Our book is meant to be a suggestion only; we admit we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and us” in Chapter 11 titled “A Vision for You” Wow! The founders demonstrated the importance of humility by being honest enough to admit they did not know very much and the only thing they could think of at the time was salvation through God. That point of view was typical for the period so we can’t hold it against them. Today in AA we have expanded that vision significantly even to the point where for some members a “personal” god is not necessary to acquire sobriety and a spiritual state of mind. To me, the founders designed AA to be a growing changing collection of ideas. It’ clear to them that AA should never be a fixed perfect entity; never to be changed, added to or corrected. AA has improved tremendously over the years and the founders would be happy with the direction it has taken. That’s why subtle changes had been made to the Big Book. Although it is a wonderful collection of ideas and a helpful record of the earlier times, they recognized it was an fallible because they were too. In my recovery, the book was a helpful beginning level tool which provided temporary comfort from the chaos of my active alcoholic frame of mind. I am grateful it was suggested, however, it’s not something I read today because eventually the “more will be revealed” part happened and not so much by a “god in heaven” but by my own inner drive to seek spiritual truth, goodness and love. It’s often heard “Faith without Works is Dead” in the rooms. I found I did not need a "faith" but the "works" part I embrace one day at a time.
I have often wondered if the moderators of this forum
responded to my messages. I suppose there is nothing
to prevent them from doing so. IMO, I think they ought
to just evaluate the message and decide if it is
acceptable to post. If is not acceptable to the
moderator, then it is just deleted.(like this one will be).
On Mon 2014-08-25 you posted a submission from me
at 10:37 AM. Before you posted my message, you posted
your own opinion (rebuttal): Mon. 2014-08-25 10:33 AM.
"More will be revealed". I have developed a much
clearer understanding of that phrase, and of the Big
Book. Much more has been revealed. Bill spent the rest
of his life (well, most of it) further explaining the
contents of the Big Book. The books AACA, LOTH and
ABSI contain this information.
AA estimated membership:
1939 =100 members
1982 =1 million members
1992 =2.5 million members
2014 =2.1 million members and 1.4 million members in the us and canada. If we know so much more today, why has AA membership been declining the last 22 years?
You asserted, “If we know so much more today, why has AA been declining the last 22 years?” That’s just awful science. Lower attendance numbers are not proof to support your erroneous claim that people in AA know less today and that we are in a state of decline. Lower attendance numbers indicate that there could be causal variables present which need to be studied in a proper way. A temporary trend that indicates a lower membership number does not in no way reflect the quality, value and strength of our fellowship. I could list twenty reasons off the top of my head why AA numbers have changed and none of them have anything to do with your idea that we know less. “Think, Think, Think”… and I should add intelligently.
1992 worldwide population=5.5 billion
2014 worldwide population=7 billion
27% increase in world population from 1992 to 2014
AA 19% decrease since 1992 bad science or glaring defects in what AA has become?
Bill told us that we ought to pay close attention to our
critics. Even a little truth should command our attention.
Upon examination if there is absolutely no truth we can
ignore the criticism and move on. Today we do not even
the criticism of us which comes from many directions. I
personally feel that Bill is spinning in his grave when
he sees what has happened to A.A. ANONYMOUS
You paraphrased Bill W saying “AA should pay attention to our critics.” I guess you feel AA has not? I believe AA has done a great job paying attention to its critics. How could you feel it hasn’t? Who were the original critics? To take a guess at it; it was probably the agnostics and atheists. Bill in later writings was grateful for their wisdom. And in most cities you will find agnostic AA meetings. AA has always corrected its original positions by listening to its “fringe” members in every era. Change doesn’t happen exactly the moment we would like it to, but eventually it does. AA has been positively changed by the likes of non-believers, women, minorities, addicts, young people, women, LBGT, members with mental illness, hippies, and punks. AA has taken great strides to listen and to meet the needs of these members. We must not confuse the individual actions and beliefs of close-minded members in the rooms with what the Fellowship of AA stands for. AA has embraced diversity throughout the years but it can’t police every individual or group that practices bigotry. Although certain AA members might be afraid of change, AA has proved it does not share that same fear today.
clu 1992: We almost collapsed in 1992/1993. We lost over
half a million members when our General Service Board of
Trustees moved our headquarters into a Rockefeller subsidized building on Riverside Drive. There must have
been fierce resistance to accepting support from the
Rockefellers, in violation of Tradition Seven.
Our lease is up in the near future, but "they" have
already decided that the lease will be renewed, probably
another 25 years.
This is only one of the blunders we have made. We have
made several serious mistakes at the group level. I have
written about several of them (repeatedly). ANONYMOUS
Rents in Manhattan are too high and its just a difficult city for anything these days. Perhaps its time to move Central Office to another zip code. Do we really need to be in New York City? Why not Texas?
I can't resist doing this...Why not Reno Nevada???
I have a suggestion. Find a rental in Texas subsidized
by the Rockefeller Foundation and present it to our New
York GSO and General Service Board of Trustees. A rental
in Texas might be cheaper than the building we are in
now, even without financial assistance provided by the
Rockefellers. I still can't believe they moved us into
a subsidized rent, especially after John D. Rockefeller, Jr.
himself, gave us our Tradition of self-support and
refused to give Bill any more money.
The only way we will ever get the attention of our
trusted servants is to cut off their funds. Bill W.
left us Concept Seven as the means to do this.
There must have been fierce resistance by our membership
when we moved into the Riverside building in 1992. Our
fellowship lost over half a million members after that move. ANONYMOUS
Why not outsource GSO and the Central Board of Trustees to India or some other country? Since AA is a worldwide organization anyway does it really have to be in New York City after all? It seems outsourcing is popular these days so why can't we look into it? Things change. Years ago AA was full of chain smokers, today its full of i-phones. Just because the roots of AA were started in New York doesn't mean it is a sacred and holy city.
Our membership numbers have changed but, that does not mean AA is a failure or in a state of decline; if anything it’s in transition. We are not our grandpa’s AA anymore. The lower numbers to me is a positive indicator that AA works and a sign of a healthier society. Less people are walking through the doors today as less people are smoking too. Lower numbers are a compliment to AA and it demonstrates that the AA philosophy works. Many members acquire enough health to return to society and now lead fulfilling lives outside the rooms and don’t have the need to attend meetings 5-7 times a week. Another key factor that may help explain a lower number is that we had over expanded at one time to accommodate a large post WW2 generation of alcoholics who started walking through the doors in the 70’s. My dad was a Woodstock hippie and I’m taking care of him. He can’t get to meetings anymore because of health issues. I have been to plenty of funerals of guys that saved his life. AA could downsize its meeting availability. In this way the rooms would feel fuller, but then again, it really only takes two people for an AA meeting to occur so big numbers are not necessary for “one drunk to talking another drunk’s language.” It’s not a complicated thing to understand but, after reading many of the posts it seems there is a myth that AA is in decline because of lower numbers and somehow this absolutely proves there is something wrong with us. There are many theories and blame going around supporting these unscientific and self-serving points of view. Part of my recovery was to stop living in “black and white” worlds where someone is always selling a “black and white” answer.
I mentioned this topic to my wife this morning and she also pointed to the baby boomer surge in membership. We are both baby boomers who entered AA during the 80's & early 90's. Though we are getting older and have lost a few friends recently , our home group is still full of folks who sobered up around that time.
Today, our new members trickle in, mostly as the result of legal trouble such as DUI, drugs or both. By trickle, I mean, we see a lot of new people at meetings (many court ordered) but only a few stick with the program.
I don't know if it would make much difference in the numbers if we changed our meeting format. After all, people were reading HIW, holding hands to pray and even smoking like chimneys when my wife and I and the rest of the boomers came in and we stuck around. We were just ready and had run out of options.
During the last two years of my drinking I lived in Spanish Lake, Missouri, just north of Ferguson which has been in the news lately. I brought up a google map to see where Ferguson is in relation to Spanish Lake. What struck me, without going in to the trouble in Ferguson, was how many interesting things are in the area and how I missed them all when I lived there. My sober, inquisitive, healthy AA mind of today saw historical and natural attractions that piqued my interest. This made me wonder what the hell I was doing and what I was like when I lived there. How did I miss it all?
It has been many years, but I think I was just too busy drinking and recovering from drinking to look much beyond the next bar or my apartment where I spent a lot of time being sick. Not only did that lifestyle kill my time, it also killed my mind and my ability to be adventurous and inquisitive.
In sobriety, I began to read a lot and to take an interest in history. Today, I look at a map of that area and think about all of the natural and historical features I'd like to explore. In sobriety, my world and my interests have expanded. This realization gave me one more thing to be grateful for in sobriety. Thanks AA.
I would like to listen.
I read in the posts that no place in the big book meetings are mentioned. That is not true. If you start reading from very beginning of the book you'll see them mentioned. In my area we read the preface, forwards and the dr.'s opinion. There is a lot of material covered before the actual page 1.
Today I'm pushing forward to 7 days sober in A A. Today facing stress from damage done from addiction. This is the reality that sends me over. But having a sponsor and a noon meeting I now have a new choice. And I'll take it. Thank you God for strengthening me.
Today is 12 for me. I finally shared 12 days ago at a meeting. I have been going to meetings on and off for many years. Drinking in between. I finally spoke up, asked for help, got a sponsor and am on my way. Been to meetings almost daily....I have finally received what I have been praying for for 10 years......
Congratulations on 7 days! (10, by now?) It gets better... but it does take time and work. I didn't hit my bottom the day I took my first drink, nor did I fix my life in my first week, month, even year of sobriety. I thank God for the miracle that I am sober today. Today is all I really have.
every meeting has a personality, but all attempt to carry the message. i live in a small community and listen to newcomers and oldtimers alike share their mess rather than the message. if i do not share the message, if i do not demonstrate my gratitude, if i do not enthusiastically deliver a message of hope, the fault lies within me. being involved, staying connected, and sharing the message with both the oldtimers and the newcomers ensures the passing on of wisdom and experience. i do agree, that if i am boring, i may be bored or exemplify boredom. i need to examine why i am bored. is it because i have no words of wisdom to impart? is it because i have no mssage of hope? is it because i am intolerant? everytime i read "how it works" or the "promises: i hear somethng relevant and/or new: most importantly, i read them with love, feeling, and enthusiasm. i do not race through meaningless words: my reading gives LIFE to the words and i hope, delivers the message of this program: that is, a message of HOPE. i hope to be here and i hope to see others find what i have found. boredom and tedium are what i create when i am not actively engaged, involved, and contributing. our stories need not be long or complicated IF we share in a general way. my life before was awful; now my life is awesome. my sponsor told me to share my own interpretation of FAITH: Finding Alternative Inspiration Through Hope. my hope keeps me here, keeps me coming back, and keeps me ever mindful that i need to pass it on.
“…share their mess rather than the message.” Someone’s mess might be the saving message to someone else. It was in my case. According to our Preamble we are asked to share our experience, strength and hope and not a message. It’s important to be open-minded and allow others the same gift to share their recovery. I never look at someone sharing and think, wow they are a mess. If someone was all together why would they be in these rooms in the first place? Judgment is not a healthy recovery tool but a bi-product of insecurity. What do we expect sitting in a room with a jambalaya of people trying to get sober, flowery poetry? Compassion and tolerance are helpful tools that will direct everyone to a better place. We should not let our political, religious, economic and cultural biases to direct what we think the proper AA should be. The Traditions remind us of the danger in this. As far back as I can remember; there has always been a fundamentalist faction of people in the rooms who try to control this so called “message” Every member has the capacity in them to help another alcohol. What works for me might make another member scratch their head. To me, our personal experiences make all the differences but, I do know the easier softer way is to sit around and take the inventory of other’s mess and then lay a big sloppy judgment on them. Thanks
A young man at a meeting the other night was sharing for his first time and from the back of the room someone said they didn't want to hear his "mess". Thankfully the young man decided he didn't like that meeting and went to another.I think he has more to offer than anyone who wants to criticize him. Formosa Ontario Canada
I used to think boredom was just something that happened that i had no control over. this program has taught me that boredom is a choice. so i love this post for that.
I hadn't experienced hope on its highest level till i chaired a meeting for the first time in which newcomers were attending. After the meeting they thanked me and told me they didnt know meetings were full of laughter and wisdom that they would definately be back....what a high on hope!
I've recently asked a close friend to sponsor me and am ready to do my 5 th step. I've been attending meetings at his home group and enjoy them but I'm seeing a conflict now in our friendship. Where before we had an equal and easy going relationship, now he's very critical and confrontive.I miss the "friend" I had before I asked him to sponsor me.I think I've made a mistake here and am leaning towards telling him that and doing my 5 th step with another sponsor. Advise is welcome
When you asked your friend to be your sponsor, and he accepted, you both changed the relationship from one of equals to one in which there is an imbalance of power. It's a little bit like agreeing to work for a friend and then realizing that your friend is now your boss and you have to do what he says, or not get paid.
You can thank your friend for getting you this far in your spiritual journey. Explain that you miss having him as a friend, and because he's introduced you to the fellowship, you now know lots of other people who can relieve him of the job of having to be both your friend and your sponsor.
Ask him if he has any advice as to who might make a good next sponsor for you. Then invite him to hang out or go to the movies or something so he knows you don’t want to stop being friends. Hopefully you will be able to establish a relationship as equals. You might have to remind him a few times that he's not your sponsor any more. I truly hope you can both make a serene transition into these new roles.
you got the right answer. Chose a different sponsor but be gentle in your explanation to your friend. besides, chances are they feel the same.