Burning Desire to Share
Linda- Just wanted to say that that was a very nice little story. Always remember that story of yours if your tempted to pick up. I, too, though I have a 19 & 17 yr old , feel so blessed to be there for them and not my wine. Have a great day. :)
Thanks Linda for sharing..enjoy that moment and i'm sure the many others that are coming..and remember it!!..money cannot buy that experience!!...keep enjoying
Sounds like you have been reminded of a very good reason to say sober. If you choose a good method to accomplish that, it will be given to you.
I couldn't outlast it, I couldn't out smart it, I couldn't overpower it. A Higher Power, accessed through the use of AA's twelve steps simply discarded alcohol's control over me completely, permanently. You and your daughter deserve the same.
I am a grateful alcoholic and want to say you have many wonderful opportunities ahead of you. My disease gave me opportunity, without the HOW I wouldn't be where I am today. Every obstacle that I've faced so far I have overcome, just like your girl learning to ride a bike. With that said you helped her with her challenge, the same goes for the program. We are not alone, and that's what sponsors are for. Today's quote says, "No one at the gym, at work, in my neighbourhood, or even in church had ever hand out to me. In AA it happened every day."
I look forward to my Grapevine every month. I was given Living Sober by an old co-worker and it is a life saver and precious to me. I am so glad to be part of AA and I'm not a joiner of anything. It is the best organization out there. I read Bill W and it was wonderful. I wish and pray that one day my husband will join me in sobriety.
Thank you for being here for me.
"What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." Big Book, p. 85
Discussions lately about "god/no god," religion and spirituality seem to have stagnated after the plethora of quotes from AA-approved sources. Oh that it were that simple that we could quote a bunch of AA-approved stuff and have the matter settled. Nothing that involves humans, however, is that simple. As all of those quotes point out, there is not one spiritual path. There is no one path to spiritual wholeness. There are as many as there have been human beings on the face of the earth. So, I have a question, based on the quote above AND on all of the AA-approved quotes that are not from the Big Book.
What does the phrase "maintenance of our spiritual condition" mean to you? What is your spiritual condition right now? How do you maintain it so that you receive the daily reprieve that is promised? Where did you find that power greater than yourself?
1. What does the phrase "maintenance of our spiritual condition" mean to you?
“Maintenance of our spiritual condition” to me means work the whole program, daily. A slip is a slip, starts in the head and goes into our actions. Reread p. 86-88; Prayers: Serenity, 3rd, 7th, 11th step in BB, St. Francis, AA daily meditation, Grapevine online meditations all strengthen me to and fill be with courage to be responsible and willing to do the next right thing, now.
2. What is your spiritual condition right now? Today it is strong as I have done my morning prayer/meditation.
3. How do you maintain it so that you receive the daily reprieve that is promised? Work, work, work, call sponsor, work with sponsees/others, service work at club. Spend quality leisure time in responsible ways. Get plenty of sleep, eat right, take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Relax and Enjoy life.
4. Where did you find that power greater than yourself? When I had exhausted all my efforts to live a happy life and was still miserable (suicidal), I dared God; if he could direct my life better than I was doing, go for it. I give up and want to see how to live better. I was ready to learn how to follow His way, at least check it out.
Now, God has given me all the things I could not get on my own: a husband/happy marriage, restored family relationships, forgiveness even when I could not forgive myself, Healings from the bitter scars of my childhood, consequences of my bad choices and a failed marriage. God filled me with peace, joy, trust, hope and especially freedom to be me and acceptance of and like myself as I am.
Is there a God? My life reflects the Good Orderly Direction I found when I followed the inspiration obtained in meditation, reading BB and other good books, and in a great measure, your sharings in meetings.
THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE OF DISCOVERY! Being “restored to sanity” would be hard to imagine as I believe my life was dysfunctional from day one.
The spiritual condition is one of those vague but oh so real concepts that are at the heart of sobriety.
I was riding my mountain bike up a canyon in Idaho last week on a perfect fall day and stopped for a sip of water. The last warm rays of summer sun warmed me as a breeze rustled the cottonwood leaves that were a mix of fading greens and bright yellows. Suddenly, I felt my spirit soar as I remembered a poem Hemingway had written for a departed friend.
"Best of all he loved the fall
The leaves yellow on the cottonwoods
Leaves floating on the trout streams
And above the hills
The high blue windless skies
Now he will be a part of them forever”
It wasn't until I got to AA that I fully realized that I had a spirit, that it had a "condition" and that I was responsible for maintaining it. There are things I can do, or not do, that affect my spiritual condition. Over the years, the list has become quite long.
I am comfortable today with "God as I DON'T understand God". Because truly, the more I learn, the less I understand. But, as it says in the BB, "God could and would if He were sought". My daily reprieve is in the seeking; wherever that may lead me.
Great post and questions. I'm sure that my wife and ten other alcoholics that I love and respect will all have different answers. Here's mine.
I had spent half a lifetime working my way down the food chain, crashing cars, honing my character defects and winning vomiting contests. Somehow that didn’t turn out to be an effective apprenticeship to develop a keen awareness of God’s will for me and knowledge of how to carry that out. Fortunately for me, Alcoholics Anonymous spelled it out for me. “Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning… (Step 4).
Almost every member of AA I’ve had any experience with misses the idea that Step Three says “made a decision…” Three birds are setting on a branch and one decides to fly south. How many are left? Three. Nothing was said of his flying, just making a decision. He may still be setting there frozen solid when spring comes.
So, what is God’s will for me? Spend all of my waking hours visiting jails and institutions carrying AA’s message? Raise a million dollars for the poor? Running for political office to get God’s will made into the law of the land? Wage a holy war against the infidels, or gays or gay-haters? Throughout the ages people have ABSOLUTELY KNOWN that one of these (or the opposite of these) or just about anything that pops into their head is God’s will. According to the last sentence on page 63 of our instruction book, God’s will is for me to do step four followed by five through twelve. Enjoy the fruits of creation as much as I can while treating others as I would like to be treated.
Where did I find a higher power?
The Big Book.
The 12 and 12.
A common college text "Religions of the World" Houston Smith.
A new age book "Conversations With God" Neale Donald Walsh
Wikipedia entries for a number of Christian happenings including the Council of Nicaea, Salem Witch Trials,
Cotton Mather and simple observation of modern religion. I have concluded that people in the religion business simply make it up.
Observing nature* and using God given reasoning.
*Not just trees in the woods nature but the entirety of natural conditions - physics, chemistry, biology, astronomy.
The result is that I am happy to live, not afraid to die, completely free of any compulsion to drink. I pray only for improvement in me and receive it.
Thanks for asking.
I've always believed in the existence of God but struggled very much in having a relationship with whatever It is. Right now we're on the outs.
No problem here. If God is so big, he/she can handle us giving him/her all our issues.
My anger and rage were too big for me causing me much pain. I nearly murdered my son but blacked out. Was that blackout a gift or not? I could have been imprisoned the last 20 years instead of in AA getting my act together with the help of the AA tools: BB, 12x12, sponsors, slogans, meetings, members sharings, daily meditations, Grapevine, and you my dearest chosen family for your love and support.
You have all shown me that it works if I work it. Daily, I now give God everything and in my best efforts, try to listen and learn, following Bill, Dr. Bob, all the old-timers and do the next right thing NOW. How it works: HOW Honesty, Openness, Willingness! That is everything for me. Still have a daily reprieve and am completely grateful for that and for the ability to live today Happy, Joyous and Free!
When I took inventory of my own shortcomings, those (real or imagined) of others became insignicant.
There is something wrong with people who claim to bigger than God, or their own god, that let mere words spoken by those they consider inferiors send them scurrying. We see others represented here that don’t believe in God and don’t have any problem with those who do. I was a member of the first group for as long as I could hold out against alcoholism’s progression. Members continued to point out the steps for recovery that they had used but no one applied much pressure and I have never seen it done. Then I finally had to face the fact that I was lying. I wasn’t an atheist or agnostic. I believed in God and was scared to death of him. I was finally ready for step two. I came to believe in a much different God than the charlatans of the religion I had known about had sold me. I found the one that does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. The remaining steps followed until I joined those one hundred men and women who had recovered and wrote the book on it.
In case you haven’t noticed, you are preaching against preaching.
God in AA! Are you kidding me? For fun, I looked on www.164andmore how many times God is in the first 164 of the big book and 12x12, AA’s primary texts. God 298, higher power 23, spiritual 176, spiritually 8, spirituality 7, religion 55, and religious 22. If I added right, that’s only 589 times.
Complaining about God or spirituality in AA is like going to a baseball game and complaining about balls, bats, athletes running bases, hot dogs, peanuts, and cracker jacks!
Seriously, anyone who really wants clarification, do what AA’s have been doing since 1939, look in the big book for a consensus of what the group conscience of AA believes . I think page 19 the 3rd and 4th paragraph and page 46, 2nd paragraph through the 1st and 2nd paragraphs on page 47 has been putting this issue of God in AA to rest for the past 74 years.
In AA, it’s God as we understand Him, whatever that may be for each member. That’s the way it is in AA whether I agree or not.
Good luck to you and God bless you,
Corey. Count how many words there are in the Big Book. There are thousands. Count how many times the words God and Spirituality are mentioned. Then compare the two figures.
In 1986 the principle concern of USA/Canada General Service Conference was that due to the loss of copyright protection of the first and second editions of the Big Book. “…others others might publish modified or distorted versions of the A.A. recovery program.” Box 4-5-9 June July 1986, p.1 ‘36th Conference Looks Ahead’ http://aa.org/lang/en/en_pdfs/en_box459_june-july86.pdf)
Since then a plethora of distortions of the AA program have been published in books and on the internet.
In 1977 AA World Services published its position on the publishing of Big Book Study guides and other explanatory texts. The following are extracts:“..Increasing numbers of requests come to A.A. World Services for permission to reprint the Twelve Steps and other parts of the Big Book in "study guides" and other interpretive material. Some come from treatment centers that try to give instruction in the A.A. program to their patients… …that permission should not be granted to outside publishers or other parties to reprint A.A. literature for the purpose of study guides or interpretive or explanatory texts. If such interpretive or study guides are to be prepared, they should be published by A.A. World Services, Inc.”(Box 4-5-9 August/September 1977, pp. 1, 6, ’Big Book Study Guides? A.A.W.S. Arrives at a Position’ http://aa.org/lang/en/en_pdfs/en_box459_aug-sept77.pdf)
In 1986 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. began efforts to prevent the unauthorised use of the AA Circle and Triangle registered trademark.
In 1993, after AAWS was losing the battle to protect the Circle and Triangle against unauthorised and illegal misuse by around 170 outside entities including treatment centers, novelty manufacturers and publishers, it was decided by an ad-hoc conference committee to stop protecting the circle and triangle and to phase out its official use by AA World Services Inc. and AA Grapevine Inc. The decision was made after a large number of the fellowship supported the illegal misuse of the Circle and Triangle by novelty manufacturers manufacturing sobriety chips and medallions.
(Box 4-5-9 August-September 1993 pp. 5-6 ‘‘Letting Go' of the Circle and Triangle As A Legal Mark’ http://aa.org/lang/en/en_pdfs/en_box459_aug-sept93.pdf AA Grapevine December 1993, ‘Around AA Whatever Happened to the Circle and Triangle?’ http://da.aagrapevine.org/)
In 1986: USA/Canada General Service Conference gave this advisory action: “The spirit of the 1977 Conference action regarding group literature displays be reaffirmed, and recommended the suggestion that A.A. groups be encouraged to display or sell only literature published and distributed by the General Service Office, the A.A. Grapevine and other A.A. entities.” (AA Guidelines Literature Committees http://aa.org/lang/en/en_pdfs/mg-09_literaturecommittees.pdf)
In 2005 the Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. and USA/Canada General Service Conference 1977 advisory actions were reaffirmed in Box 4-5-9. The following are extracts: “…Finally, Tradition Two tells me we have but one ultimate authority—a loving God as he expresses himself in our group conscience. It seems to me if we allow interpretations of the Big Book through study guides, we will also undermine our ultimate authority…. …that permission should not be granted to outside publishers or other parties to reprint A.A. literature for the purpose of study guides or interpretive or explanatory texts. If such interpretive or study guides are to be prepared, they should be published by A.A. World Services, Inc.”
The website you link to is a front for an outside publisher. It is not an AA website. Fun sometimes comes at the expense of society if it is not soberly tempered with responsibility. I hope one day you will become a responsible guardian of the fellowship and of AA Tradition. A good place to start is Concept XII, Warranty Five. (The AA Service Manual Combined with Twelve Concepts for World Service. pp 67-72. http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/en_bm-31.pdf
I don’t think the General Warranties of Conference have been withstanding against the pressures of corporate coercion for at least since 1986. AA may have lost more than we know. Authority for the AA program has slowly been switching from the ultimate authority in Tradition Two to distortions published by outside entities. Unless these General Warranties of Conference do begin to withstand the pressures of corporate coercion at group level in the near future, then the fellowship will continue to lose more of its identity and eventually disintegrate like the Washingtonian movement. A loving God in AA (as he may express himself in our group conscience that is) has put all the writing up on the wall. It has been there for some time. I’m sure some of us can see it a bit more clearly than others.
good information. Lets not forget that conference approval does not imply unapproval of other material. I learned that by tatle tailing to GSO. They aways reply with tradition 4.
7 or the 12 steps refer to God, higher power, or spiritual awakening. thats 58%.
“Newcomers are approaching AA at the rate of tens of thousands yearly. They represent almost every belief and attitude imaginable. We have atheists and agnostics. We have people of nearly every race, culture and religion. In AA we are supposed to be bound together in the kinship of a common suffering. Consequently, the full individual liberty to practice any creed or principle or therapy whatever should be a first consideration for us all. Let us not, therefore, pressure anyone with our individual or even our collective views. Let us instead accord each other the respect and love that is due to every human being as he tries to make his way toward the light. Let us always try to be inclusive rather than exclusive; let us remember that each alcoholic among us is a member of AA, so long as he or she so declares.”
(Responsibility Is Our Theme; The Language of the Heart p 333; AA Grapevine July 1965 http://da.aagrapevine.org/
Is there a point you want to make?
“He is asked to believe in a power greater than himself, or at least to keep an open mind on that subject while he goes on with the rest of the program. Any concept of the Higher Power is acceptable. A skeptic or agnostic may choose to think of his Inner Self, the miracle of growth, a tree, man’s wonderment at the physical universe, the structure of an atom, or mere mathematical infinity. Whatever form is visualized, the neophyte is taught that he must rely on it and, in his own way, to pray to the power for strength. He next makes a sort of moral inventory of himself with the private aid of another person. – one of his A.A. sponsors, a priest, a minister, a psychiatrist, or anyone else he fancies.”
(The Jack Alexander Article about AA, Saturday Evening Post, March 1st 1941, pp.19-20) http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-12_theJackAlexArticle.pdf
“All people having an alcohol problem who wish to get rid of it and make a happy adjustment to their lives, become A.A. members by simply associating with us. Nothing but sincerity is asked of anyone. In this atmosphere the orthodox, unorthodox, and the unbeliever mix happily and usefully together.”
- Bill W., (October 30, 1940;"Pass It On" p.173)
AA Grapevine July 1944
On Cultivating Tolerance by Dr. Bob
“During nine years in A.A. I have observed that those who follow the Alcoholics Anonymous program with the greatest earnestness and zeal, not only maintain sobriety, but often acquire finer characteristics and attitudes as well. One of these is tolerance. Tolerance expresses itself in a variety of ways: in kindness and consideration toward the man or woman who is just beginning the march along the spiritual path; in the understanding of those who perhaps have been less fortunate in educational advantages, and in sympathy toward those whose religious ideas may seem to be at great variance with our own. I am reminded in this connection of the picture of a hub with its radiating spokes. We all start at the outer circumference and approach our destination by one of many routes.
To say that one spoke is much better than all the other spokes is true only in the sense of its being best suited to you as an individual. Human nature is such that without some degree of tolerance, each one of us might be inclined to believe that we have found the best or perhaps the shortest spoke. Without some tolerance we might tend to become a bit smug or superior--which of course is not helpful to the person we are trying to help, and may be quite painful or obnoxious to others. No one of us wishes to do anything which might act as a deterrent to the advancement of another--and a patronizing attitude can readily slow up this process.
Tolerance furnishes, as a by-product, a greater freedom from the tendency to cling to preconceived ideas and stubbornly adhered-to opinions. In other words it often promotes an open-mindedness which is vastly important--in fact a prerequisite to the successful termination of any line of search, whether it be scientific or spiritual.
These, then, are a few of the reasons why an attempt to acquire tolerance should be made by each one of us.
Dr. Bob of Akron" http://da.aagrapevine.org/
“It is an historical fact that practically all groupings of men and women tend to become more dogmatic; their beliefs and practices harden and sometimes freeze. This is a natural and almost inevitable process. All people must, of course, rally to the call of their convictions, and we of AA are no exception. Moreover, all people should have the right to voice their convictions. This is good principle and good dogma. But dogma also has its liabilities. Simply because we have convictions that work well for us, it becomes very easy to assume that we have all the truth. Whenever this brand of arrogance develops, we are certain to become aggressive; we demand agreement with us; we play God. This isn't good dogma; it's very bad dogma. It could be especially destructive for us of AA to indulge in this sort of thing.”
- Bill W. (Responsibility Is Our Theme; The Language of the Heart p 333; AA Grapevine July 1965 http://da.aagrapevine.org/ )
“Nothing, however, could be so unfortunate for AA’s future as an attempt to incorporate any of our personal theological views into AA teaching, practice, or tradition. Were Dr. Bob still with us, I am positive he would agree that we could never be too emphatic about this matter.”
-Bill W. (Our Critics Can Be Our Benefactors; The Language of the Heart p. 346, AA Grapevine April 1963 http://da.aagrapevine.org/)
“THE phrase "God As We Understand Him" is perhaps the most important expression to be found in our whole AA vocabulary. Within the compass of these five significant words there can be included every kind and degree of faith, together with the positive assurance that each of us may choose his own. Scarcely less valuable to us are those supplemental expressions--"A Higher Power" and "A Power Greater Than Ourselves." For all who deny, or seriously doubt a deity, these frame an open door over whose threshold the unbeliever can take his first easy step into a reality hitherto unknown to him--the realm of faith.
In AA such breakthroughs are everyday events. They are all the more remarkable when we reflect that a working faith had once seemed an impossibility of the first magnitude to perhaps half of our present membership of three hundred thousand. To all these doubters has come the great discovery that as soon as they could cast their main dependence upon a "higher power"--even upon their own AA groups--they had turned that blind corner which had always kept the open highway from their view. From this time on--assuming they tried hard to practice the rest of the AA program with a relaxed and open mind--an ever deepening and broadening faith, a veritable gift, had invariably put in its sometimes unexpected and often mysterious appearance.
We much regret that these facts of AA life are not understood by the legion of alcoholics in the world around us. Any number of them are bedeviled by the dire conviction that if ever they go near AA they will be pressured to conform to some particular brand of faith or theology. They just don't realize that faith is never a necessity for AA membership; that sobriety can be achieved with an easily acceptable minimum of it; and that our concepts of a higher power and God as we understand Him afford everyone a nearly unlimited choice of spiritual belief and action.”
- Bill W.
(God As We understand Him: The Dilemma of No Faith; The Language of the Heart p. 251, AA Grapevine April 1961 http://da.aagrapevine.org/ )
“We can also take a fresh look at the problem of "no faith" as it exists right on our own doorstep. Though three hundred thousand did recover in the last twenty-five years, maybe half a million more have walked into our midst, and then out again. No doubt some were too sick to make even a start. Others couldn't or wouldn't admit their alcoholism. Still others couldn't face up to their underlying personality defects. Numbers departed for still other reasons.
Yet we can't well content ourselves with the view that all these recovery failures were entirely the fault of the newcomers themselves. Perhaps a great many didn't receive the kind and amount of sponsorship they so sorely needed. We didn't communicate when we might have done so. So we AAs failed them. Perhaps more often than we think, we still make no contact at depth with those suffering the dilemma of no faith.
Certainly none are more sensitive to spiritual cocksureness, pride and aggression than they are. I'm sure this is something we too often forget. In AA's first years I all but ruined the whole undertaking with this sort of unconscious arrogance. God as I understood Him had to be for everybody. Sometimes my aggression was subtle and sometimes it was crude. But either way it was damaging--perhaps fatally so--to numbers of nonbelievers. Of course this sort of thing isn't confined to Twelfth Step work. It is very apt to leak out into our relations with everybody. Even now, I catch myself chanting that same old barrier-building refrain, "Do as I do, believe as I do--or else!".
Here's a recent example of the high cost of spiritual pride. A very tough-minded prospect was taken to his first AA meeting. The first speaker majored on his own drinking pattern. The prospect seemed impressed. The next two speakers (or maybe lecturers) each themed their talks on "God as I understand Him." This could have been good, too, but it certainly wasn't. The trouble was their attitude, the way they presented their experience. They did ooze arrogance. In fact, the final speaker got far overboard on some of his personal theological convictions. With perfect fidelity, both were repeating my performance of years before. Quite unspoken, yet implicit in everything they said, was the same idea--"Folks, listen to us. We have the only true brand of AA--and you'd better get it!"
The new prospect said he'd had it--and he had. His sponsor protested that this wasn't real AA. But it was too late; nobody could touch him after that. He also had a first class alibi for yet another bender. When last heard from, an early appointment with the undertaker seemed probable.
Fortunately, such rank aggression in the name of spirituality isn't often seen nowadays. Yet this sorry and unusual episode can be turned to good account. We can ask ourselves whether, in less obvious but nevertheless destructive forms, we are not more subject to fits of spiritual pride than we had supposed.” –Bill W. –Bill W. (God As We understand Him: The Dilemma of No Faith; The Language of the Heart p. 252-253, AA Grapevine April 1961 http://da.aagrapevine.org/ )
“My own spiritual awakening had given me a built-in faith in God--a gift indeed. But I had been neither humble nor wise. Boasting of my faith, I had forgotten my ideals. Pride and irresponsibility had taken their place. By so cutting off my own light, I had little to offer my fellow alcoholics. Therefore my faith was dead to them. At last I saw why many had gone away--some of them forever.”
–Bill W. (God As We understand Him: The Dilemma of No Faith; The Language of the Heart p. 254, AA Grapevine April 1961)
“Of highest importance would be our relations with medicine and religion. Under no circumstances must we get into competition with either. If we appeared to be a new religious sect, we’d certainly be done for. And if we moved into the medical field, as such, the result would be the same. So we began to emphasize heavily the fact that AA was a way of life that conflicted with no one’s religious belief.”
- Bill W. (How AA World Services Grew Part II; The Language of the Heart pp. 150-151, AA Grapevine June 1955, http://da.aagrapevine.org/ )
“The fellowship is entirely indifferent concerning the individual manner of spiritual approach so long as the patient is willing to turn his life and his problems over to the care and direction of his creator. The patient
may picture the Deity in any way he likes. No effort whatever is made to convert him to some particular faith or creed. Many creeds are represented among the group and the greatest harmony prevails. It is emphasized that the fellowship is non-sectarian and that the patient is entirely free to follow his own inclination. Not a trace of aggressive evangelism is exhibited.”
- Dr. W.D Silkworth M.D., (“A NEW APPROACH TO PSYCHOTHERAPY IN CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM” Journal Lancet, July 1939. Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, appendix E:a, pp 304-305)
“The atheist may stand up in an A.A. meeting denying God, yet reporting how he has been helped in other ways.”
- Bill W., October 30, 1940; Pass It On p 172)
I am so sick and tired of AA throwing God into the mix, you say it is not religious but that is the furthest from the truth!! there is know wonder that your membership has dropped!! The only time you will here me speak of god is thank god I left AA
Thanks for your post. It needed to be said. I wish all those who are who are leaving AA would say their piece before they went. If they did so, perhaps those that fancy themselves as oldtimers would start to listen instead of propagating what Bill W. called “rank aggression in the name of spirituality” and Dr. Bob called “smug or superior” and “patronizing attitude.” From some of the comments below, I wonder what program some people are on, because it doesn’t sound like A.A. to me. I’m going to post some writings of Bill W. and Dr. Bob. I hope the forum moderators will post all of them. I don’t think we’re here to pass on our opinion, but the AA program. And if we can’t do that, then what is the point of this forum?
The saddest part of all this is that the alcoholics we are
trying to reach are the ones who have already left. Those who remain are the problem, and IMO they are unreachable. It
doesn't take much to make a member feel uncomfortable. "Of
course, we want you to feel uncomfortable. We love you. We know what is
good for you." We offer the truth but without the grace.
If we approach each other with weakness and humility,
the suffering alcoholic will almost always respond favorably. Page 70 in AACA tells us how to carry the
message successfully. Thanks for posting these messages from Bill. ANONYMOUS
First of all I want you to know that I appreciate and
understand your message. You could just silently walk
away as hundreds of thousands of other suffering
alcoholics have done.
From the time of Bill W's spiritual experience God has
always been in the mix. Salt may be an ingredient needed
to produce a good taste, but an excessive amount makes
it hard to swallow.
Our worst mistake is the reading of "how it works" at
the beginning of meetings. Add the 24hr book and "there
you go". God this and God that.
Bill tried administering a heavy dose of religion to
his first prospects. He calls his effort spectacularly
unsuccessful. When Bill approached Dr. Bob with a
heavy dose of humility and weakness, Dr. Bob responded
Study the method of passing along the AA message on
page 70 in AACA. Study Dr. Silkworth's "cart before the
horse" IDEA. Bill says that without this idea, AA could have
never been born. I doubt that five percent of today's AA
members have any idea what that IDEA is. You seem to have
Search for a meeting where The Language of the Heart
book is studied. Or an As Bill Sees It meeting. Bill saw what you are now seeing. He explains it around page eight in LOTH. Bill warned us of many of the blunders we might
make. IMO we have made all of them. ANONYMOUS
You seem to confuse the recommendation of how to DELIVER the message with the MESSAGE ITSELF. If a person is interested in how an alcoholic "..can and will remain sober for the rest of his life." the doctor's explanation starts on p 309 of Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age. The person who started this thread wasn't put off by an ineffective twelfth step call. He's put off by AA's message. If you don't like How It Works, then you must be too.
That's OK. We don't care how you try to stay sober. Go invent something better than AA, publish a book, just don't waste your time and ours hanging around bashing what works for us.
I consider the first two and a half pages of chapter
five "How It Works" to be one of the most beautiful readings
in all of our A.A. literature. To my knowledge, I have never
written or said that I don't like it.
Bill and his friends wrote the Big Book to deliver, pass
on, carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
Let me ask you this one question: Why do you suppose
Bill placed HIW in chapter five? Why did he not include it
in the introduction or at least in chapter one?
Bill placed HIW after the first four chapters of
information for a special timed effect. He obeyed Dr.
Silkworth's "cart before the horse idea". Soften them
up before you give them the facts.
I firmly believe that the starting to read HIW aloud
at meetings was our worst mistake ever, followed closely
by the chanting and the reading of the 24 hr. book. No,
we did not always read HIW at meetings. In my location
it began around 1980. And No, there is nothing wrong with the message. I consider the third edition of the Big Book
to be the second greatest story ever told. It certainly
saved my life and made it worth living. ANONYMOUS
Where did those hundreds of thousands walk away to?
"Prison looks good to me."
"I think I'll try one of those state run mental hospitals."
"Anybody say the word God around me and I'm going to get fitted for a coffin."
I agree we do hear a lot about God in AA. Unlike traditional religions, though, AA adds the caveat, "as we understand him" or "higher power". In reality, each member is free to believe what they want or not believe anything.
My wife is a recovering Mormon Buddhist. I am a recovering Catholic agnostic. I have a friend in AA who became a Baptist Minister and presided at my wedding. I have other good AA friends who are atheists. We all somehow recover together in AA.
I sometimes wonder about the God talk and rituals in AA but quickly realize that no traditional religion would want much to do with the "pirate ship" that is my AA home group. No religion I know of would claim the motley crew of foul mouthed bikers, gays, pornographers, pedophiles, prisoners and others who I sit with and LOVE in AA. I've yet to attend a religious service where a speaker precedes the G word with the F word. If we are a religion or cult, we are the most irreverent and disorganized one that ever existed.
I certainly did not think I could get sober if I had to find a God of my understanding but thank Heavens I believed A.A. worked. One way of looking at it was Group Of Drunks. Since I couldn't stop drinking after a few years in A.A. I felt absolutely hopeless so did something out of character for me. I actually asked for help!
Long story short I asked a gal from my meeting how exactly does one not take that first drink? She was taken aback so it was suggested I speak with "Joe" who told me I might get on my knees and ask if anybody was out there that could help me not to take a drink. It wasn't an instant result. It took a short time but it worked and still does after many years. I did come to believe in Power greater than myself and it was/is not a human power!
Just an alcoholic!
Hello, I use to be sick and tired all the time too when drinking and everything got on my nerves. In my part of the country I heard this joke: if God is a «pain in the a***» for you, wait a while, he will climb up to your hart. Good luck whatever you choose. Anonymous
Goodbye & God bless you!
oh and remember, keep coming back it works if you work it :)
You stopped AA but here you are at aagrapevine.org. I'm confused.
And went where?
Before you stop altogether why not talk to your sponsor first. I came here for help, whatever the direction it was taking me. I couldn't stop myself. FFT food for thought
sad that you feel that way, we say we are not religious nor a cult then we act that way with all our "chanting" etc. (what moron thought that up). still does not change the fact that we are indeed a God program. Try it your way....again. Let us know how that works out for you, maybe you might find a better way. God Bless You. M
Some say the basis of recovery is HOW - Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness. Thanks for your honesty.
I am an atheist who has been sober and attending AA since 1993. When I hear so many people in AA (and on this forum) talk of God I just smile. I have learned to be tolerant in AA. Anyone who told me over the years that I must believe in a god to stay sober has long since dropped away from my life. They may or may not still be sober themselves. Also, drugs are part of my story, but I don't think I've ever been chastised for mentioning them. The vast majority of people who attend the meetings I go to are warm, welcoming, and tolerant.
I don't worry about our national membership numbers. I don't worry about what the newcomer in general does or does not hear in the meetings. I don't worry about people in general being turned off by the program because of the chanting,reading of the 5th step, or what have you. I can't do anything about abstract people or statistics. What I can do is go to meetings myself; engage in service; reach out and shake the hand of someone who is new and scared. If I don't like the format of the meeting I go to, I am free to attend another or start my own.
I primarily go to meetings because I love them, and because if I started drinking again I would face certain prison or death. I already did the institutions.
That was my burning desire to share after reading many of the posts here. The polemic on here gets boring, but it's typical of anonymous online forums. What I like is to read about people's struggles and triumphs. The triumphs and miracles in this program happen every day.
Tom - I loved your share. Disputes, contentions, resentments, confusion, are usually not new stuff for the average alcoholic - certainly not for me. But being able to not drink and to grow in stability certainly are. I consider you - and the first sharer - my fellow, my valued brother, whether or not we share the same perspective on faith. I have a fellow feeling with agnostics and atheists, it is familiar ground for me. For now, I have an appreciation of a power greater than me, and a gratitude, but not a lot in the way of comprehension. All I wish for anyone is that they find their truth, and be sober (if they have this problem) and happy.
Before I begin a response, let's get a few definitions in order. People seem to love to confuse religion and spirituality these days. But the two are more opposite than similar in nature.
Religion has to do with institutions, dogma, books and teachings. Religion has little, if any, tolerance of anyone having different views. Religion has been the cause of most of the wars in this world, most of the suffering, most of the ignorance and small-mindedness and most of the killings of innocent human beings. Religion is a plague that should be wiped from the face of the earth. (Of course, I might be wrong, but I doubt it.)
Spirituality has to do with being concerned and questioning about things that are not so easily defined -- like the purpose of life, whether or not there is a higher power, our relationships with one another, etc. Spirituality is, by definition, hard to define. Everyone has their own interpretation. Everyone has their own definition. Everyone has their own path.
When AAs say (as the Big Book says) that we are not religious, therefore, they speak the truth. No one is required to believe in anyone else's god, or lack thereof. No one is required to be subservient to that supposed god's servants and leaders. No one is required to do anything no one wishes to do. Heaven and hell, if they even exist, are filled with people both in and out of AA, as it should be.
The genius of AA as it has evolved is that none of us care at all about your god, or your lack of god! He/she/it can have any name. It can look like anything you want it to look like, even the Flying Spaghett Monster, praised be his noodly appendages. It can spout any doctrinal nonsense you want it to spout and you can believe all of that nonsense you want to believe. But, at the end of the day, each of us who are truly alcoholic need something/someone that is NOT US to help us find a solution to our problem with alcohol, and with life. It is as simple as that.
For the record, I am a buddhist. I don't believe in a god in the traditional sense. I don't NOT believe in a god in that sense either. I just don't think it is relevant at all. On my spiritual path, any god that might exist and might be worth its salt doesn't care in the slightest whether or not I, or any other puny human being, believes in it. It is up to me, and me alone, to find my path, to work out my salvation, as it were. It is up to me to seek guidance from the spirit of the universe when I need it. Otherwise, that spirit of the universe has bigger fish to fry, I would imagine.
Having said that, I am highly spiritual. I have a path that I walk daily. I meditate often. I sit quietly and listen for wisdom and guidance. More often than not, that wisdom and guidance come to me and help me on my path. I have found peace. I have found repose in something that is definitely "not-me" but "still me." I have, if you want to call it that, found god.
AA, and the Big Book, have never pretended to be anything other than a spiritual program. You can't read the book, go to meetings, or study the steps without seeing spiritual principles everywhere you look. You can't work the steps and miss the presence of someting/someone bigger than yourself, call it god or anything else you want to call it.
If anyone ever thought that they could work THIS PROGRAM without spirituality or their version of god, they were only fooling themselves. Chiding and berating us because you tried to lie to and fool yourself is childish. Just because something does not work for you does not mean you have the right or the privilege or running others' beliefs down. It didn't work for you. Learn from that and move on, with peace and maturity.
There are plenty of programs out there that do not require spirituality or belief in order to get one sober. And, as the Big Book says, we in AA do not have a monopoly over recovery and sobriety. Other paths work for other people. That does not mean, however, that AA and the steps are any less valid for some of us. It just means they don't work for everyone. No one ever said they would.
If you don't like the spirituality of AA then we say good for you. Please go elsewhere and find your sobriety and peace wherever you can, and leave us to finding ours where we do. However, it is nothing short of childish, petty and dishonest to mischaracterize and lie about our program, a program that is working for many of us every day!
Of course we talk about god every day. Of course we talk about spirituality. They are both the basis, the part and parcel if you will, of the AA program. From the tone of your terse posting, may I recommend Rational Recovery. Not only do you need sobriety, I would guess since you came to AA, but you sound like you need rational thinking, freedom from the emotions that seem to rule you at every turn. I wish you the best in your journey.
so you do beleive?