Burning Desire to Share

2030 replies [Last post]
captdeep6
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Joined: 2012-09-30
Re two Brothers

Truer words were never written. I'm on every page of the big book. It was written for me and countless others.

Anonymous
re two brothers

Ask the clown what page the myth about two brothers is on?

If I have a meeting with Bill W (reading AA literature) for every face to face meeting that I attend, I can recognize BS (Bad Sense) a mile away. So can you.

Anonymous
RE: Two brothers in AA

By God's grace I had my last drink in 1970. My brother,
three years younger, drank another twenty years. We had started drinking around the same time.
He just completed 23 years without a drink. I personally
know twin brothers who are sober for three decades.
Share your AA life with your brother, if possible.
My brother is in another state, but we attend meetings
together when we visit. So don't dread; Enjoy. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
NEWBIE and these first few weeks are so tough

I am brand new at this, went for two weeks sober, which I never thought I could do, then had one incident where I backslid and drank after being triggered by a traumatic conversation with an abusive partner. I have since gone to another meeting and made plans for a temporary sponsor and plans with new AA friends to meet up, have lunch and go to meetings together. I am also seeing my therapist and on meds. It just seems like I feel constantly drained lately, but going to meetings gives me some hope to see others have done it.

I just hope I can survive my next interaction with the abusive partner and not backslide again after all the hard work.

I have lost my appetite, is this normal? I am eating but just not hungry much.

Also I am feeling isolated after having to turn down social invites for drinks, and such.

Im sure it gets easier, but I have to say these first few weeks have been very emotional and tough. Suggestions welcomed.

Much love.

Anonymous
NEWBIE and these first few weeks are so tough

Dear Newbie,
Years ago when I got sober, I had been in an abusive marriage for 17 years and drank the whole time. At first, I felt like I woke up to a nightmare in front of me, abusive husband and dysfunctional children and my own life unmanageable. To stay sober, I went to lots of meetings, I read the Big Book and listened to AA tapes when not at meetings. and I talked a lot and socialized a lot with AA people.I also found a sponsor to do 4th step and 5th step inventory. I had to keep reminding myself that I was trying to stay sober despite the terrible situation around me and that it would GET BETTER. I also keep thinking, "DONT DRINK even if your butt falls off", "Let Go and Let God" and "Never give up". I did have one slip the first year and another the second year, but I finally started asking God every day to keep me sober and after that I stayed sober.In the beginning I had forgotten to do that because I was so overwhelmed with my problems, I didn't focus on solutions. I now have almost 29years sobriety and during that time all my problems got solved and I have been happy, joyous and free for many,many years. The healing and recovery doesn't come fast, so you have to learn patience and we alcoholics are not patient. We want sobriety to the fullest right away. Take it one day at a time and keep reminding yourself WHY you want to stay sober. For me it was to get rid of the pain and to do that I had to stop drinking first, because that only covered up the pain and I couldn't heal. You can write me anytime if you have other questions. Mary Jo

seank
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Joined: 2012-01-06
Welcome!

Congratulations on two weeks! One thing that was suggested to me when I first came in was to read page 417 of the Big Book. It may be helpful. I found that going to ninety meetings in ninety days, getting a sponsor, reading the literature, working the steps and getting active by taking a job in a group were all very helpful to keeping me sober one day at a time.

I never experienced lack of appetite, but this too shall pass, I am sure.

I stopped going out with those people who I knew just wanted to drink, but I frequently travel on business in which there is drinking and by "maintaining my spiritual condition", I am able to be around alcohol without it being a problem now. I have replaced these interactions with AA and other activities that I enjoy.

It does get easier.

Much love to you too :-)

lisap
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Joined: 2013-09-25
sober on the beach

dearest friends, i am struggling every day. i am going for a two day vacation with a sober friend to florida for some sun this weekend. any words of wisdom? wine by the pool and on the beach is something i cant imagine not doing. i dont like who i become when i drink and certainly not how i feel the next day. but i want to have fun! help

Anonymous
re fun on the beach

Solving your problem is exactly what AA's program of recovery is all about. An honest look at my life revealed that I couldn't control alcohol after drinking a small amount, I couldn't stay away from it and I denied the first two facts. I needed to be somebody else to get rid of the problems that alcohol caused. AA did that for me. I kept the fun and lost the booze. My wife too. I think we have spent over a hundred days on cruises out of Florida without a drink and no, we don't miss it. We've replaced it with something much better.

Many think about cruises and beach vacations as drinking occasions and many do. Once a year some allow themselves a few drinks and get tipsy or maybe even enough to get a hangover. Looking around the ship, most don't even do that. Vacations are drinking occasions for US. Everything becomes a drinking occasion for us.

If the thought crosses my mind of how nice a glass of wine or a Manhattan would taste going down it's now followed by the thought "But how does it taste coming back up?". I'm an alcoholic, I can't have one without the other.

captdeep6
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Joined: 2012-09-30
re sober on the beach

I'd trade that wine for some great Ice cream I haven't had in a while or an extra large frozen lemonade. I'd think of what I did for fun at the beach when I was a young kid? I'd take me a sand bucket and build a sand castle. I'd body surf, look for odd shells, read a good book or play on my phone and catch some rays. I might try my hand at surf fishing. I might find an arcade and whip somebody at pinball. I'd go to the amusement park and ride all the scary rides. I might want to rent a bike and see the sights. Best of all, I'd Relax, Relax, Relax. Napping is good too.Daydream happy things. I'd find so much to do or not do that drinking alcohol would never enter my mind.
It's Good that you going with a sober friend. Have fun and cover that nose with good sunscreen. May God watch over you in your travels.

Anonymous
Looking what fuctioning

On mine, it not the best variant

Anonymous
meetings

People tell me im going to too many meetings and I need to get a life outside aa. I go every night get up in the mornings work hard help my mum and dad. Talk to my sponsor who goes every night

lunchbunch
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Joined: 2013-01-08
Too Many Meetings

Early in sobriety when I was unemployed, single, living in my parent's basement and detoxing from the many ill effects of alcoholism I went to lots of meetings - sometimes 2-3 per day. My sponsor asked that I attend one Step meeting per week with him at our home group.

I built a new life around AA(steps), AA friends, AA activities and recovery. I slowly healed and learned how to live in this world happily without alcohol. As my life filled up with work, relationships, hobbies, family, children and career - my priorities changed. Though AA/sobriety is still my main priority, I now have other responsibilities that compete for my time and attention.

Anonymous
Meetings

It doesn't matter what others say about you, don't let them run your life. You are an adult right? Then you can make your own dicisions. There is no such thing as going to too many meetings, that's ridiculous. I help my parents, work hard, and go to as many meetings as I can, and I'm over 2 years sober. Remember the triangle.

Anonymous
meetings

As an alcoholic, I have a real talent for doing exactly what I want and deciding that's what's BEST. Usually what I want is what makes me feel good. Meetings fit that category. I mix in some meetings with Bill W (reading AA books) to see if people have any idea what they are talking about in meetings. Not as much fun but like eating my vegetables, necessary. I can usually pick out Mr AA's house on a block. Its the one with the broken sidewalk and hasn't seen a paint brush for twenty years.

If you use meetings to learn how to use the AA program between meetings, you're on a good track. If you're setting in a meeting chair watching others use the program, it's like sitting on the Titanic watching others use the life boats.

Anonymous
Love and tolerance

I, like you, love meetings. When the alcoholic in me rears it's head, I know the best place to be is in a meeting where I am loved and tolerated. Thank god for Alcoholics Anonymous...both the groups and book.

clu1992
Offline
Joined: 2012-05-30
re meetings

if ur new, go to as many as u can.
if ur 10 years sober and leave your wife and family to spend 4 hours a day at meetings, then yes something's wrong. remember balance.

Anonymous
meetings

People tell me im going to too many meetings and I need to get a life outside aa. I go every night get up in the mornings work hard help my mum and dad. Talk to my sponsor who goes every night

Anonymous
18 million people

"18 million people in the US and Canada suffer from a life threatening problem". I often wonder how
such estimates are developed. The figures I have seen for the past few years have been closer to
30 million. Are less people becoming alcoholic, or are the alcoholics dying at an earlier age.
Our nonalcoholic Chairman of the Board of Trustees writes in a final NERF report: "Not drinking
is not the solution".
I believe that the solution is all about not drinking. Recovery from this fatal illness depends
on that one thing.
Bill W. recovered in Dec 1934. Not by "works", but by the grace of God. After almost six months
of trying to help other drunks to recover, he stumbled onto a method, technique, gadget, of transferring
relief to other alcoholic sufferers. It is a very unusual, almost strange, means of reaching other
alcoholics at great depth. This method is explained on page 70 in "Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age".
If we approach the new prospect from a position of humility and weakness, he/she will almost always
respond favorably.
We have over a million sober members of A.A. in the US and Canada, whose primary purpose is to stay
sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. Last year our membership increased by
less than 5,000. We have fewer members in A.A. today (worldwide), than we had in 1992. Some may say
well, 5,000 is almost 15 per day. With 65,000 AA groups is that the best we can do. IMO that is
appalling and just not acceptable. Why are we accepting it? No, the solution is not to throw more
money at the problem. It will cost us more than money. Our pride, EGO, conceit, and arrogance are
what we have to give up. Are we willing? Can we make that sacrifice, in order to help other
suffering alcoholics, 18 million or 30 million. They are waiting and suffering. ANONYMOUS

jefft1962
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Joined: 2013-11-25
Waiting and Suffering Alcoholics

I reside in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. I am on the Treatment Committee for our district. We have no problem finding groups to bring meetings into treatment facilities and correction institutions. There are some members that are of the "preacher" type, but they are few and far between; and I have no power to change their tactics other than to supply them with the information contained in our supplementary literature and books. And I thank you for all of your useful references! I don't know what our success rate is here, nor do I care.

Being spiritually fit, happy joyous and free, I think that we offer a great alternative to daily drinking. By sheer numbers of recovered (from the daily obsession to drink) and happy alcoholics, we can do what Bill couldn't by himself.

We are staying sober the best way we can; we practice group, district and area inventories to try to improve; We see our rooms filling up at certain times and then leveling off. With the economy doing better, our rooms aren't filling up as fast.

If you are not seeing progress in your area, I wish you wouldn't condemn A.A. as a whole as being in a cycle of decline. Numbers do not provide all the answers. They can be a strong indicator of course. But lets work on practical solutions.

So to start off with. What area are you in that you are experiencing these problems? What have you tried to do about these issues? How can we help you?

Anonymous
not by works?

faith without works is dead- "AA big book". Please reread bill's story in the big book. He explains the "work" he did to induce his spiritual experience. On page 13 of the big book, bill describes what later became steps 3-12 in his own words. steps 1 and 2 are described earlier in his story.
I hope you take the time to read bill's story again. I do fully agree with the cart before the horse idea. I use it at the jail and detox meetings I join in each week. I also agree that AA is on a steady decline. I believe it's because we have gotten away from our singlness of purpose and have allowed treatment centers and counselors to water down the program of AA to the point of losing it's effectiveness. I believe the program and the fellowship at one time were one and the same. you called AA, members took you through the steps, then you went to meetings to discuss and listen to how you work the steps in your daily life. Today's open discussion meetings sound more like a group therapy session than AA.
The program (12steps) still work if you put half the effort you did into it as you did your drinking. I have never seen them fail. the 4 guys I took through the steps so far this year are still sober and doing well, that's 100% so far this year. I wonder how many other methods are running 100% this year? NO worries, AA is alive and well in my neighborhood.

Anonymous
re works

Great response.

This is what the founders did,
This is what I do,
This is the success rate.

Anonymous
RE: not by works?

I am not trying to be argumentative. That has never been
my aim. I am just trying to "save AA". If every member of
AA saved one new alcoholic a year, our membership would
be exploding. You certainly seem to be doing your part.
I am only trying to explain, and point out how and why
our precious fellowship has lost much or most of its effectiveness in helping suffering alcoholics.
Bill W. was not "working" when he had that spiritual
awakening. He was quitting, surrendering, giving up. He
did not earn sobriety. It was given to him by the Grace
of God. I think that in the ten years prior to his death
Bill became convinced that he did work for it
and earn it.
We should have no differences or problems with treatment
centers or counselors, if we do our job, and allow them
to do theirs. We could be working effectively side by
side. By combining the two we have blundered. And it
is our blunder.
You believe that AA is on a steady decline. Based on
membership numbers I would say we are stagnant, with
less members than we had twenty years ago. That has
been my concern, a real concern. If we don't grow, we will
go. But my greatest concern is for those who are approaching us now. We are not using the "cart before the
horse" IDEA offered to Bill by Dr. Silkworth. I don't
believe you have an understanding of the IDEA or how it
is to be used. Bill explains it several times in his writings. Lack of understanding of this IDEA is the cause
of our steady decline. What we are lacking is humility.
Spiritual pride is the enemy.
Faith without works is dead. Works without Faith can
be just as dead. We cannot work ourselves into sobriety,
although most AA members think that is the method.
The true AA method is described in AACA page 70. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
re anonymous

Anonymous writes, “Bill W. was not "working" when he had that spiritual
awakening. He was quitting, surrendering, giving up. He
did not earn sobriety. “
I understand your not trying to be argumentative, but you are. So for fun, I’ll join in. Bill was absolutely “working”. This is a classic case of spreading the disease instead of the message. Bill’s story in the big book describes exactly how he worked what is now AA’s 12 steps although they were not written when he took them. Ebby showed Bill how to take them. Pages 13 and 14 of Bill’s story in the big book describe Bill working steps 3-11. Steps 1 and 2 are prior to page 13 in Bill’s story. “Then” Bill had a spiritual experience. That is precisely why AA has 12 steps. You work the steps, you get a spiritual experience that will expel your compulsion to drink and make you usefully and happily whole. Then to keep his spiritual experience, he had to give it away. That is spelled out in pages 15 and 16.
The big book chapter discreetly titled “How it Works” just happens to have the 12 steps in it. I don’t think the chapter has an ambiguous title. I think it means what it says. Even Dr. Bob said the steps are simple in meaning and will always work if you put half as much zeal in to the program as you did into getting another drink. The method to sobriety is not in a couple paragraphs in Language of the Heart. The Method to sobriety in AA is clearly spelled out in the first 164 pages if the book “ Alcoholics Anonymous”. That book by the way was intended to prevent the simple message of AA from being garbled over time. I see much garbling in the constant posts of our message being in language of the heart. Bill’s messages are in language of the heart. The AA message is in the Big book, written by Bill W and proofed by Dr Bob, the Akron and New York drunks. Anything in that book had to go through everybody. That way no bleeding deacon could force us all to believe a lie.

Anonymous
RE: re anonymous

"Ebby showed Bill how to take them". Bill said that Ebby
did no preaching. Ebby did not instruct Bill on how to take
the twelve steps. Ebby only told Bill what had been his
experience. Ebby laid the tools at Bill's feet. He did not
try to cram the steps down Bill's throat. That is where
we have gone wrong. We have made the steps mandatory,
instead of offering them as suggestions.
"proofed by Dr. Bob, etc.". Bill wrote the Big Book,
he was the author. The chapters were sent to Dr. Bob and
the others for approval. But one great exception was the
objections from the agnostics and atheists. "As we understand Him" was added, and the Big Book and the steps
were to be offered to prospects as suggestive. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
re

Yes master.

Anonymous
page 70 of language of the heart?

Thanks for trying to “save” AA. We all want the best for AA. I have a hard time believing the “true” method is on page 70 of Language of the heart. A paragraph or two in a book of Bill W’s grapevine articles? I’m just not stupid enough to think that Bill would write a chapter in the big book titled “HOW IT WORKS” then hide how it really works in a grapevine article. You are right about the humility, only an ego maniac would try to “save “ AA.

Anonymous
RE: page 70 of language of the heart?

We really have to pay attention to detail. Bill did hide
"How It Works" in chapter five of the big book, trusting
that the alcoholic reader would find that information (truth) at the appropriate time. This timed revelation is
important. Bill explains it in AACA (Alcoholics Anonymous
Comes Of Age).
On page 70 in LOTH (Language of The Heart) Bill explains
the importance of the traditions, mainly how important
Humility is for us. It is page 70 in AACA (ALCOHOLICS
ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE) Bill tells us how the message
was carried to Dr. Bob. We need to read and study those
books if AA is to survive. It will be very difficult to
"save AA" as long as the membership believes that AA
is alive and well. The numbers show otherwise. ANONYMOUS

clu1992
Offline
Joined: 2012-05-30
re cannot work?

if the 12 steps don't work, we've been wasting slot of ink. and air. we better let the 200 12 step groups

clu1992
Offline
Joined: 2012-05-30
rest of post

the most important part of my post is lost in cyberspace! anyway, i think we have "getting " sober confused with "staying " sober. many of us have had moments of clarity, then cried out for help only to have our ego creep back in and start drinking.
the AA program of recovery as stated in the 12 steps are what expells the compulsion to drink or if you prefer is how we stay sober. after we quit drinking. jails, detoxes, and treatment centers are there to help us initially get sober. AA meetings and steps are how we stay sober.

Anonymous
works

So Bill W didn't work to save himself but two million AA members, if they work at it, can save two million drunks per year. If I did the math right we would run out of drunks to twelfth step in the US in four to five years

Bill Wilson's spiritual awakening was during a "treatment" with belladonna, an extremely powerful hallucinogenic.

Anonymous
RE: works

Are you insinuating that Bill's spiritual experience was the
result of being treated with belladonna. I don't know what
that drug is, but I do know that Bill wrote that he had been
cleared of most medicines when the miracle occurred. Bill is
the author; I take his word for it. I also know that the same gift was given to me and the only drug I had ever used
was alcohol and I had been free of that for two months when
my miracle occurred. My conviction is my own.
Bill's sobriety was a gift from God. Bill was finally
humbled enough to ask God for help. Bill asked for help
and the help was given to him. It was not any human power.
Following his spiritual experience Bill called his Doctor
to his bedside,
asking if he was insane. The Doctor examined Bill and
assured him he was not insane.
Bill W. had a spiritual experience. It is a wonderful
gift. Alcoholics Anonymous was and is built on that belief.
Why would anyone question that? If they are not alcoholic
it ought not be of any concern to them. Alcoholics Anonymous is for those who want and need it. It was there
when I so desperately needed help to stay sober.
No, Bill did not have the power to save himself. As an
alcoholic, I did not have the power to save myself.
Dr. Silkworth offered Bill a method of helping other
alcoholics to recover. This has nothing to do with
preaching the twelve steps. Dr. Silkworth's advice
had more to do with NOT preaching the twelve steps.
We have over a million sober AA members. We are supposed
to help ourselves stay sober and help other alcoholics to
recover. We are staying sober but have very little success
in helping others. True, we gained about 5,000 new members
last year. But we are still below the number of members
of twenty years ago. We can deny the numbers provided by
our trusted servants at GSO. Or we can look for our mistakes and try to correct them. Our mistakes (Bill called
them blunders) are posted all over the I-SAY What's on
your Mind Forum. I just hope those AA members who are
concerned will not give in and just walk away.
Future generations are depending on us. ANONYMOUS

captdeep6
Offline
Joined: 2012-09-30
re works

I'm one of the 5000 new members that joined last year. I can unequivocally state that I had a spiritual awakening during step five. It didn't come as a thunderclap or a voice. It was a more subtle sign that God sent me to let me know he was there for me. I cried when it happened. It was a cry for joy. I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. I wanted to rush out and tell everyone the great gift I had received. The only people I've told were my fellow alcoholics. I share it sometimes in meetings. I know now how Bill must have felt and why he and others wrote the book. God inspired them. I thank God every day for his grace and have learned a great deal about myself with my character defects and shortcomings. Now that I know without a doubt that he is there, I can do no less than to help others. He guides my days and gives me peace of mind.

Anonymous
RE: re works

captdeep6 You had the spiritual experience Bill W.
writes about. I believe that by sharing that event with
others, our own belief is strengthened. Bill's grandfather
had the religious conversion eight years before his death.
He must have told his grandson, Bill, about it. After Bill
had his saving experience, he found a way of carrying
the message to other alcoholics, by sharing exactly what
happened.
Your experience came during step five. Mine came as the
result of steps one, two and three. Bill's came when he
cried out to God for help. Read the version on page 2
in "As Bill Sees It". Bill tells us exactly what happened.
Every alcoholics finds God in his own way. Finding God
is really not required to be an AA member. I do believe
that peace of mind IS required for lasting sobriety.
ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
re 18

Nerf? How about a link so we can see for ourselves what you're talking about?

Anonymous
RE: re 18 Nerf

North East Regional Forum. The US and Canada consists of
eight regions. Each Region has a Forum every two years.
Something like that. Rose

Anonymous
Today's A.A. meetings

When I came into Alcoholics Anonymous four decades ago the rooms were filled with smoke. Although
I did not like the smoke I stayed. The smoke I tolerated and when I got home I could leave my
outer clothes in the garage. Today's meetings are filled with pride and EGO. It is more
nauseating than the smoke ever was. And harder to wash off, even if I try. We just do not
smell our own stench. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
re: today's aa meetings

I recently came back to A.A after 12 years of "sobriety" without much AA at all..many of us know how that goes..so here I am back again, just as my dear father told me I would be. Five months and I couldn't find even a temporary sponcer, or anyone to help me get to meetings once I moved ten miles away and the meetings run as the last buses do...so, as I say I came back again, it has been almost 3 months since I have been going daily. Actually 3 times daily...getting to the point; years ago these things I have mentioned among others; like having people chair the meetings with 6 moths clean time, etc.. I also completely see what the person above had to say. Tons of pride and ego, which as far as I knew was very much NOT the AA way, am I wrong? Thank you anonymous for pointing out just a few of the differences nowadays..
ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
A power greater than one's self--another way to view it

Maybe the higher power idea doesn't fit, no problem. Consider this, with each drinking/drugging event, our mind runs a new trail or trace like with any memory. Many many of our memories of substance abuse are not bad, in fact, were good. Sadly, at this end of our substance abuse career, the bad events are too costly to continue even if there are many more good events.

Think of the total collection of memory trails as a ball of yarn. The good events were far more in the total life span, so our own brain or mind wants to continue the journey. Remember brains like to relive good events and suppress bad ones. Therefore, with substance abuse, addiction, whatever you want to call this thing, you will never be able to trust your brain for long term recovery.

The power greater than one's self is the trust in the experience, strength and hope of OTHER's, outside or greater than one's self. That can be GOD or a Group Of Drunks. I am the only one that can talk me into a relapse and that is SELF. Respectfully submitted Mike from Va.

linda6712
Offline
Joined: 2012-08-10
Riding a bike

I'm two months sober... and I have a 7 year old girl. Today I took her bike riding. It hit me (finally) that I haven't been there for her. She struggled today.... but was learning. How could she know how to ride if her mom chose drinking over teaching her to ride? I hate this disease. But, today I am happy for my little girl. I'm so happy that she is getting the opportunity to have fun with the mom that I'm meant to be. I'm happy to not drink today. Thanks for listening.

Anonymous
Children of us

Sometimes I look at my boys and feel the same. Did I not teach them alot of things I should have, I was to busy fulfilling my own needs. Even simple things, like hand tools. Can't look back too much, look forward, teach now.

christalc
Offline
Joined: 2013-09-11
Riding a bike

Linda- Just wanted to say that that was a very nice little story. Always remember that story of yours if your tempted to pick up. I, too, though I have a 19 & 17 yr old , feel so blessed to be there for them and not my wine. Have a great day. :)

Phil49
Offline
Joined: 2013-10-30
Riding a bike

Thanks Linda for sharing..enjoy that moment and i'm sure the many others that are coming..and remember it!!..money cannot buy that experience!!...keep enjoying

Anonymous
re riding

Welcome Linda,

Sounds like you have been reminded of a very good reason to say sober. If you choose a good method to accomplish that, it will be given to you.

I couldn't outlast it, I couldn't out smart it, I couldn't overpower it. A Higher Power, accessed through the use of AA's twelve steps simply discarded alcohol's control over me completely, permanently. You and your daughter deserve the same.

Anonymous
Re riding a bike

I am a grateful alcoholic and want to say you have many wonderful opportunities ahead of you. My disease gave me opportunity, without the HOW I wouldn't be where I am today. Every obstacle that I've faced so far I have overcome, just like your girl learning to ride a bike. With that said you helped her with her challenge, the same goes for the program. We are not alone, and that's what sponsors are for. Today's quote says, "No one at the gym, at work, in my neighbourhood, or even in church had ever hand out to me. In AA it happened every day."

Anonymous

Anonymous
Living Sober

I look forward to my Grapevine every month. I was given Living Sober by an old co-worker and it is a life saver and precious to me. I am so glad to be part of AA and I'm not a joiner of anything. It is the best organization out there. I read Bill W and it was wonderful. I wish and pray that one day my husband will join me in sobriety.
Thank you for being here for me.
Maggie

Anonymous
A Daily Reprieve

"What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." Big Book, p. 85

Discussions lately about "god/no god," religion and spirituality seem to have stagnated after the plethora of quotes from AA-approved sources. Oh that it were that simple that we could quote a bunch of AA-approved stuff and have the matter settled. Nothing that involves humans, however, is that simple. As all of those quotes point out, there is not one spiritual path. There is no one path to spiritual wholeness. There are as many as there have been human beings on the face of the earth. So, I have a question, based on the quote above AND on all of the AA-approved quotes that are not from the Big Book.

What does the phrase "maintenance of our spiritual condition" mean to you? What is your spiritual condition right now? How do you maintain it so that you receive the daily reprieve that is promised? Where did you find that power greater than yourself?

Anonymous
A Daily Reprieve by Anonymous (4 Questions)

1. What does the phrase "maintenance of our spiritual condition" mean to you?
“Maintenance of our spiritual condition” to me means work the whole program, daily. A slip is a slip, starts in the head and goes into our actions. Reread p. 86-88; Prayers: Serenity, 3rd, 7th, 11th step in BB, St. Francis, AA daily meditation, Grapevine online meditations all strengthen me to and fill be with courage to be responsible and willing to do the next right thing, now.

2. What is your spiritual condition right now? Today it is strong as I have done my morning prayer/meditation.

3. How do you maintain it so that you receive the daily reprieve that is promised? Work, work, work, call sponsor, work with sponsees/others, service work at club. Spend quality leisure time in responsible ways. Get plenty of sleep, eat right, take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Relax and Enjoy life.

4. Where did you find that power greater than yourself? When I had exhausted all my efforts to live a happy life and was still miserable (suicidal), I dared God; if he could direct my life better than I was doing, go for it. I give up and want to see how to live better. I was ready to learn how to follow His way, at least check it out.

Now, God has given me all the things I could not get on my own: a husband/happy marriage, restored family relationships, forgiveness even when I could not forgive myself, Healings from the bitter scars of my childhood, consequences of my bad choices and a failed marriage. God filled me with peace, joy, trust, hope and especially freedom to be me and acceptance of and like myself as I am.

Is there a God? My life reflects the Good Orderly Direction I found when I followed the inspiration obtained in meditation, reading BB and other good books, and in a great measure, your sharings in meetings.

THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE OF DISCOVERY! Being “restored to sanity” would be hard to imagine as I believe my life was dysfunctional from day one.

lunchbunch
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Joined: 2013-01-08
Daily Reprieve

The spiritual condition is one of those vague but oh so real concepts that are at the heart of sobriety.

I was riding my mountain bike up a canyon in Idaho last week on a perfect fall day and stopped for a sip of water. The last warm rays of summer sun warmed me as a breeze rustled the cottonwood leaves that were a mix of fading greens and bright yellows. Suddenly, I felt my spirit soar as I remembered a poem Hemingway had written for a departed friend.

"Best of all he loved the fall
The leaves yellow on the cottonwoods
Leaves floating on the trout streams
And above the hills
The high blue windless skies
Now he will be a part of them forever”

It wasn't until I got to AA that I fully realized that I had a spirit, that it had a "condition" and that I was responsible for maintaining it. There are things I can do, or not do, that affect my spiritual condition. Over the years, the list has become quite long.

I am comfortable today with "God as I DON'T understand God". Because truly, the more I learn, the less I understand. But, as it says in the BB, "God could and would if He were sought". My daily reprieve is in the seeking; wherever that may lead me.

Anonymous
Great post and questions.

Great post and questions. I'm sure that my wife and ten other alcoholics that I love and respect will all have different answers. Here's mine.

I had spent half a lifetime working my way down the food chain, crashing cars, honing my character defects and winning vomiting contests. Somehow that didn’t turn out to be an effective apprenticeship to develop a keen awareness of God’s will for me and knowledge of how to carry that out. Fortunately for me, Alcoholics Anonymous spelled it out for me. “Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning… (Step 4).

Almost every member of AA I’ve had any experience with misses the idea that Step Three says “made a decision…” Three birds are setting on a branch and one decides to fly south. How many are left? Three. Nothing was said of his flying, just making a decision. He may still be setting there frozen solid when spring comes.

So, what is God’s will for me? Spend all of my waking hours visiting jails and institutions carrying AA’s message? Raise a million dollars for the poor? Running for political office to get God’s will made into the law of the land? Wage a holy war against the infidels, or gays or gay-haters? Throughout the ages people have ABSOLUTELY KNOWN that one of these (or the opposite of these) or just about anything that pops into their head is God’s will. According to the last sentence on page 63 of our instruction book, God’s will is for me to do step four followed by five through twelve. Enjoy the fruits of creation as much as I can while treating others as I would like to be treated.

Where did I find a higher power?

The Big Book.
The 12 and 12.
A common college text "Religions of the World" Houston Smith.
A new age book "Conversations With God" Neale Donald Walsh

Wikipedia entries for a number of Christian happenings including the Council of Nicaea, Salem Witch Trials,
Cotton Mather and simple observation of modern religion. I have concluded that people in the religion business simply make it up.

Observing nature* and using God given reasoning.

*Not just trees in the woods nature but the entirety of natural conditions - physics, chemistry, biology, astronomy.

The result is that I am happy to live, not afraid to die, completely free of any compulsion to drink. I pray only for improvement in me and receive it.

Thanks for asking.

Anonymous
Thank you for sharing

I've always believed in the existence of God but struggled very much in having a relationship with whatever It is. Right now we're on the outs.

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