Heard At Meetings
Wed, 2012-06-20 19:27
#202
Rebel or recover
My sponsor sat repairing his alarm clock. I was ranting about my dislikes about AA. its books and programme etc. He put up the open palm of his hand like a traffic cop!
He said, "Did you come to my house to rebel or to recover?"
"IF you came to rebel then go home again. Can't you see I am busy repairing my clock!".
On the other hand if you want to recover please stay and tell me that you do want to recover!
"I want to recover!" I said.
"Very good". he said.
He put his clock into a nearby drawer and said, " Well let us begin right now. What is on your mind?"
Mon, 2012-10-22 20:02
#204
13th Step
The 13th step is stepping into the grave SOBER... No matter what...
Sat, 2012-09-22 09:24
#205
what is 13 stepping?
Practicing your 13th step is going to meeting with the primary purpose of picking up helpless women--or men.
Fri, 2012-08-03 03:01
#207
basically using the 12 step
basically using the 12 step program to get into a vulnerable newcomers pants
Thu, 2012-08-02 22:08
#208
13th.stepping
This.term usually.means taking advantage.of.a.newcomer-romantically or.sexually. This.behavior.is.generally.frowned.upon.as.it typically.will lead.to slips and.or.resentments. We need to be careful.we don't.end up on either end of the situation.
Thu, 2012-07-12 23:09
#209
having a relationship in
having a relationship in early recovery or with another member of AA
Mon, 2012-07-09 18:56
#210
13 stepping
It is preying on newcomers of the opposite sex while they are vulnerable and attempting to get their bearings in AA.
Thu, 2012-06-28 10:57
#212
ABUSE. There is no other way
ABUSE. There is no other way to describe someone that uses the program for selfcentered pleasure than the word ABUSE. And it is the GROUP RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that it never happens -- at least not without consequences.
Wed, 2012-06-27 10:26
#213
13 stepping
13 stepping is when a recovering alcohol with years in the program decides to pursue a relationship with someone is early recovery. It is unhealthy for both the newcomer and the oldtimer.
Tue, 2012-09-18 20:21
#214
13th Stepping
I don't believe anyone who is truly "in the program" for years should still be recovering. Our book calls the alcoholic that practices these principles in all thier affairs,one who has had a spiritual awakining as a result of these steps as recovered! Remember,I didn't say cured.
A recovered alcoholic would never pursue a newcomer,we don't do that...ever! Only a preditor, that is using AA to take advantage of a newcomers vulnerability would....this is sick behavior and could severly damage or even kill someone!!
Sat, 2012-12-29 19:22
#215
RE: 13th stepping (recovered, recovering)
In my opinion some A.A. members are recovered and
some are recovering. Some have had the desire to drink
removed. Some have to work a little or a lot harder
to hold on to their sobriety.
It is fairly easy to "not drink" when there is no desire to drink. Not taking that drink when the desire
to drink is present, is a real accomplishment. Not every
A.A. member is blessed with an instant, total release,
not even our co-founder Dr Bob.
I see recovered and recovered A.A. members who fit
my understanding of predator. And some who have long
time sobriety. Yes they do cause severe damage and
I am sure some have caused death of alcoholics who have come to us for help. ANONYMOUS
Wed, 2012-06-20 08:24
#216
13 stepping
The taking advantage of a new female member by an older male member.
Wed, 2012-06-20 13:45
#217
13 stepping
Or vice versa. Or same on same. It's somebody who does know better trying to get into a relationship with somebody who's new enough to not know better.
-Trey M
Wed, 2012-06-20 13:42
#218
13 stepping
Or vice versa. Or same on same. It's somebody who does know better trying to get into a relationship with somebody who's new enough to not know better.
-Trey M
Tue, 2012-06-12 23:22
#220
2 things an alcoholic doesn't like
There are only two things that an alcoholic doesn't like -- change and the way things are.
Classic!!
Sun, 2012-08-12 05:24
#222
2 things an alcoholic doesn't like
The very definition of misery.
There are only two things that an alcoholic doesn't like -- change and the way things are.
Fri, 2012-06-08 09:18
#224
Your AA life
Don't let the life AA has restored you to get in the way of your AA life.
The first thing you put in front of your sobrity is the second thing you'll lose.
Wed, 2012-06-06 11:30
#225
I'm only here because I'm not all there
A good one for me to remember.
Tue, 2012-06-05 12:23
#227
Missing what is obvious!
How can you expect to think yourself out of something that you have BEHAVED yourself into?
Sat, 2012-06-02 14:33
#228
Heard and seen at meetings.
I saw this written at a meeting. "EMBRACE THE SIMILARITIES. LOVE THE DIFFERENCES IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS."
I heard at AA, "THE BEST WAY TO GET EVEN WITH SOMEONE IS TO PRAY OR THEM!
Sat, 2012-05-26 09:01
#229
Growth
After a detailed 4th & 5th step my sponsor calmly said:
"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. EVERYTHING is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to chose."
Tue, 2012-05-01 13:44
#230
A.A. = Altered Attitudes
I have heard this at meetings many times. The following one is very helpful to me when angry or resentful:
"Nothing pays greater dividends than restraint of tongue and pen."
Nowadays I think it would be good to update this now and then to:
"Nothing pays greater dividends than restraint of tongue and text."
Thu, 2012-04-26 20:53
#232
Happiness
My mother said to me, "If you are never happy where you are, how can you expect to be happy where you are not!"
Tue, 2012-04-24 06:42
#233
More than comfort
When I am feeling depressed, I repeat to myself statements such as these: "Pain is the touchstone of progress."..."This too shall pass"..."Fear no evil"..."This experience can be turned to benefit".
These fragments of prayer bring far more than mere comfort. They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
As Bill Sees It. Page 148.
Our group shared on this at a recent AA meeting.
Sat, 2012-04-21 20:13
#234
In the future!
You cannot build a reputation on WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO!
Sat, 2012-04-21 11:44
#235
The Wisdom of Action!
Intellectual knowledge can be converted into Wisdom by action!
Sat, 2012-04-21 11:39
#236
Prayer
Early in me sobriety I was complaining to my sponsor about always misplacing my keys. He suggested that each night before going to bed I should put them under my bed, that way I'd know where they were in the morning and that while I was down there I was in the correct position to thank my Higher Power for the beginning and the end of another sober day. It still works 2 years later. Dennis D.
The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.
Soren Kierkegaard
Thu, 2012-04-19 12:43
#237
Personality Trait!
You see, of course, I am extrovert! I am always thinking through my mouth!
Sat, 2012-04-21 11:15
#238
Personality Trait!!!
I'm an introvert, before anything comes out of my mouth it makes three laps around inside of my head. Reviewed by a committee of three ( me, myself and I) then revised to sound profound or thoughtful or politically correct. By the time I'm ready to speak the time of relevancy has passed and I set there muted by my own insecurity Dennis D.
Wed, 2012-04-18 13:39
#241
an teatotaller, hard drinker, and an alcoholic
I heard at a meeting one time the difference between a teatotaller, a hard drinker, and an alcoholic is like this:
If a fly lands in the drink of a teatotaler, they simply set the drink aside.
If a fly lands in the drink of a hard drinker, they simply remove the fly and continue to drink that drink.
If a fly lands in the drink of an alcoholic, he removes the fly and shouts spit it out,spit it out! so the fly doesnt get some of his alcohol.
Mon, 2012-04-16 07:02
#245
Keep it simple
AA is one alcoholic helping another alcoholic not drink one day at a time. If this means that when asked to share I say something like, "I heard what you said about being 3 days sober and way to go, it's not easy. You may want to carry some candy around in case you get a craving. Alcohol turns to sugar, water and carbon dioxide in the human body and the sugar in the candy can quinch a craving...as long as your not diabetic."
Just a suggestion directed at someone directly in a meeting is not crosstalk...it's AA.
Mon, 2012-04-16 11:23
#246
Re: KIS.
A suggestion directed at someone directly at a meeting is
one EXAMPLE of crosstalk. Advice giving in the meeting is
discouraged. Any comment about another member's sharing
is crosstalk, as I understand and believe. I believe we
ought to share our OWN story, our own experience, strength
and hope, without any advice giving. Our sharing ought to
be directed toward the group or the chairperson. I don't
believe we ought to tell anyone at an A.A. meeting what
to do, even in the form of a "suggestion". We ought to
share what we do, rather than telling anyone what to do.
I think what you are talking about is group therapy. A.A. is much more than that. ANONYMOUS
Sat, 2012-06-16 23:48
#248
re re kis
I also don't believe sharing suggestions is cross talk. Yes we are here to share our experiance, but we are also here to share our strength and hope. Sometimes our suggestions are a part of that. Its only the opinions and personalities that get in the way.
Fri, 2012-05-11 13:46
#249
Crosstalk or Topic discussion? ... And other thoughts!
I understand what you're saying about advice in meetings. I would argue that this is something that's been going on in meetings for decades- and as such, has become as much AA tradition as "90 meetings in 90 days" has.
However, here in my area most meetings are either Big Book discussion meetings or topic discussion meetings. If I can't talk about what someone else just talked about, I couldn't participate in almost any of the meetings here.
Also, if I am touched or helped by another member's share, I cannot see it as a bad thing to let them know it- even during the meeting. There is (almost) nothing as saddening to me as the fact that our meetings have become so impersonal that no one knows anyone's last name, or can ask questions, or- HP forbid!- show up DRUNK to an ALCOHOLICS Anonymous meeting.
We are so afraid of harming the newcomer or the hurting person or whomever, that we forget that their HP brought them to that meeting, on that day and time, during that discussion, for a reason. Assuming I know what will help or harm another is assuming I know better than God/HP. This, for me at least, is dangerous ground.
Just sayin'!
ZB
Sun, 2012-08-12 05:38
#250
RE: Crosstalk or Topic discussion? ... And other thoughts!
Uh oh. 90 meetings in 90 days is not A.A.
That comes from treatment centers, and while it
is a good idea to make a habit of going to meetings,
I'm pretty sure you will not find that in any official
A.A. literature and certainly not the big book.
I suggest my sponsee's they go to a meeting a day for 90 days, not 90 meetings in 90 days. Why? Because when I came along I went to 4 meetings a day 5 days a week but skipped weekends. That created a habit that took years to break. I eventually incorporated meetings on the weekend but it took a while.