Heard At Meetings

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Anonymous
Can't understand

I'm sorry. Because of some grammatical issues in your letter I cannot tell whether or not you think AA is tolerant or intolerant, and exactly WHY you are canceling your subscription.

Anonymous
AA has become intolerant and

AA has become intolerant and I am not canceling any subscription. I never had one in the first place. Is that clear enough? KMA

Anonymous
Intolerance

Hello KMA,

Where I go to meetings (in a big city), the people in AA are becoming more rather than less tolerant of diversity. There are plenty of agnostics. And nobody cares about your sexual orientation, just that you're trying to stay sober. AA is strong and thriving in the city I live in.

I do think AA reflects the bitter and increasingly wide divisions within American society as a whole. It has to--it's part of society whether we like it or not. AA in your part of the country might be different (although I have gone to meetings in small conservative towns and been welcomed). Still, those people who write in to the Grapevine huffing and puffing and threatening to cancel their subscription are a tiny minority.

Anonymous
Intolerant!

Tolerance is a habit I practice with the help of my Higher Power, when ever I feel tempted to be intolerant.

Anonymous
KMA

Contempt prior to investigation is why Alcoholics
Anonymous has become such a failure. My head was jerked
from the sand about five years when I found that our
membership numbers were not increasing. If we are
truely helping other alcoholics our membership will
always grow. Grow or GO applies to Alcoholics Anonymous
as well as groups and the individual A.A. member.
Could you share exactly why and how the fellowship
has seemed to fail you. There are numerous reasons
why I refuse to renew my AA Grapevine Subscription.
The fact that it is awkward to open with the new
"perfect bound" structure is one reason. The fact
that the Grapevine, English and Spanish have drained
about two million dollars from our funds, concerns
me, all the while claiming to be self-supporting
by the sale of subscriptions. Only about 5% of our
membership subscribe to the Grapevine. It seems that
95% of the membership share your lack of interest.
Another concern is that our leaders seem to have transformed
"our" grapevine into an advertising tool for Alcoholics
Anonymous, bordering on sensational advertising. And
due to a decision by a past conference, the Grapevine
is automatically conference approved literature. Material
written by very few gets the same approval as that which
has gone through the General Service Conference process.
Being a conservative, I also dislike all the flashy
colors. Black and white would be fine with me, without
all the fancy art work.
My greatest concern is that we are using profit from
our Book and Literature business to support the whole
structure. We should not even have that profit available
to spend. We have a tradition of self support. Our
Trustee at our Fall assembly stated right out that we
are not self-supporting. Contributions from A.A. members
and Groups should be our only source of income. We are
supposed to be selling books and literature at the exact
cost of publishing and mailing. If we return to the goal
of full self-support, maybe our public image will improve.
You asked the question: What's on Your Mind? ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
Aa Grapevine - only supported by 5%

Grapevine increased price of subscription. Though it was probably long overdue, came at a bad time. Maybe $20 per subscription would increase subscribers significantly.

Anonymous
trusting sponsors

My sponsor talking to other people about my faults aa folk and general public, lost faith in aa

Anonymous
Trusting Sponsors

If I listen to a member of AA disclosing to me what a sponsee had confided to him.

I would tell him the right time, if he asked me, and also the day of the week!!!

Anonymous
trusting sponsor

potential sponsors should be observed before being chosen. talk to them if the are judgmental or loose lipped they might not be a good fit for you. as far as step work goes we only do three of them with a sponsor 1-2-3, ---5 is done with the person of our choosing 6-7-8 are done with our Higher power.

Anonymous
RE: trusting sponsor.

And yet we have groups where a new person is assigned
a sponsor at his/her first meeting. Or told in the
meeeting format to get a sponsor right away. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
RE: trusting sponsor

The Big Book suggests that we take the third step
with an understanding person, but better to take it
alone than with someone who might understand.
The only step where another person is required is
Step Five. I believe that person ought to be a priest
or someone sworn to secrecy.
Anyone who can read and can follow the guidelines
in the BB and 12 &12 will be able to practice the twelve
steps. I would suggest a step meeting on a regular
basis to study the meaning of all the steps, and to
learn from others at all stages of recovery. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
Principles above

Principles above personalities, my friend; not easy but essential.

Anonymous
Faith in AA

Hey, my friend.
AA is not about your sponsor. It's about YOUR recovery. The fact that your sponor gossiped only indicates that he has more work to do himself. I would recommend that you go to various meetings, listen closely for someone who sounds like they have what you want and then invite them to coffee where you can get to know each other before asking him to become your sponsor.

Greg422
Offline
Joined: 2012-05-11
Trusting a Sponsor

I'm on my 4th sponsor. My first one hired himself and I fired him within the first six months. I heard him share in open meetings things about his sponsees. He also shared allot about what he saw in others. Rarely did I hear him share ANY of his experience strength or hope. He has been sober for 3 decades but I still do not want too much of what he has. Follow your heart and be critical of potential sponsors. It is OKAY to fire some one and find another.

Anonymous
Trusting a sponsor

I share my experience strength and hope at AA. The preamble invites me to do so. Thanks for the reminder!

Anonymous
trusting sponsors

I have had this done to me as well.I started going to another group.They aren't worth getting drunk over

clu1992
Offline
Joined: 2012-05-30
barber shop

In regards to being around parties with no good reason, ive heard if you hang around

Anonymous
Missing meeting Monday-Friday makes one weak (week).

Heard at a meeting and so TRUE!

AD010416
Offline
Joined: 2012-01-18
Re: Missing meeting Monday-Friday makes one weak (week).

Heard at many meetings: Meeting makers make ...... meetings.

lmeichert@
Offline
Joined: 2011-04-30
F.E.A.R.

Faith Eliminates Anger and Resentment

Anonymous
F.E.A.R.

I'm a newcomer. You has just said it right!!! This acronym has hit me to the core.

Thanks,
Nelson J.
Bronx,NY

Anonymous
F.E.A.R.

False Evidence Appearing Real

woodstock9
Offline
Joined: 2011-12-10
F.E.A.R.

Face Everything And Recover.....

Anonymous
Eliminates?

"Faith eliminates anger and resentment." While I appreciate the acronyms used as a reminders in AA, I have personally never found any of them to be universally applicable or universally true. In the case of FEAR as presented here, I would personally substitute the word "enervate" for eliminate. I have yet to meet a person in or out of AA who has become complete master of his/her anger and resentments (or any other of their character defects, for that matter).
Enervate: 1) to lessen the vitality or strength of; 2) to reduce the mental or moral vigor of.

lmeichert@
Offline
Joined: 2011-04-30
enervate instead of eliminate

I had to look up enervate, but you are so right. In the dictionary I used to look up enervate, the meaning was to lessen the strength or vigor of; weaken in mind or body. Thank you for your suggestion. Maybe acronyms are "just reminders" for a lot us, but I happen to be one of the people they help.

Anonymous
enervate

I dont think the writer is against acronyms. They r just expressing that if fear cant be completely eliminated, we can still have faith it can be lessened. I loved the acronym with "eliminate" in it......I even wrote it down as a reminder! However, "enervate" speaks closer to my experience

Anonymous
Anonymous SHARE

Speak Honestly about real events,emotions, experience.

lmeichert@
Offline
Joined: 2011-04-30
s.h.a.r.e.

speak Honestly About Real Emotions Experiences, Events

Anonymous
S. H. A. R. E

I agree with the sentence SPEAK HONESTLY ABOUT REAL EMOTIONS, EXPERIENCES AND EVENTS.

But please tell me how the the AA principles helped you deal with these issues!

Anonymous
FEAR

Faith Eliminates All Resentments

Anonymous

Anonymous
Action on the programme

Don's stare up the steps!

Step up the stairs!

Anonymous
heard @ a meeting

there's no problem so bad that alcohol cant make it worse,
P.M.S- Poor Me Syndrome
T.H.I.N.K before you speak, is what you're going to say
Thoughtful? Helpful? Intelligent? Necessary? Kind?

lmeichert@
Offline
Joined: 2011-04-30
F E A R

Faith Eliminates Anger and Resentments

Anonymous
there's no problem so bad

there's no problem so bad that alcohol cant make it worse,
P.M.S- Poor Me Syndrome
T.H.I.N.K before you speak, is what you're going to say
Thoughtful? Helpful? Intelligent? Necessary? Kind?

jslavens7
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Joined: 2012-03-22
Excellent

Excellent

Anonymous
heard at meeting

If you take the alcohol away from the alcoholic, all thats left is the ic!

m.leahy
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Joined: 2012-11-20
heard at meeting

If you take alcohol away from the alcoholic, all that's left is serenity.

Anonymous
This is good, I heard it recently from Ireland.

"...it is not what you see...it is what you think when you look!..."

Anonymous
members

right time right place right age..i know a/a is the place i belong.as people are starting to get on my wick

Anonymous
Things I heard in a meeting

Having a resentment is like wearing a dark suit and wetting your pants. Your the only one that knows.

My mouth fires before my brain is loaded

Anonymous
Heard At Meetings

Primary Purpose, I've heard it said and I believe it to be true, "AA is like an all-purpose wrench, it adjusts to fit every nut that walks in the doors. I can't say that I'm perfect at welcoming newcomers 100% of the time. Step 6 asks me to ask God for the willingness to let go of my self-centeredness (which I label as "objectionable"), and I usually remember to ask God for help; but as I already pointed out, I am not perfect yet. I still have character defects that get in the way of my usefulness to my Creator and my fellows. At times when I'm more spiritually fit I do what my sponsor suggests (she has 35 years of sobriety and I only have 15 yrs, so I listen) and that is to "be the change that I want to see in others." One of the other things my sponsor points out as the way to be most effective at being the change I want to see, is by following the instructions on page 18 & 19 of the Big Book: "But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours (sometimes within the time frame of a meeting)...That the man making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no...people to please, no axes to grind, no lectures to be endured--these are the conditions we have found most effective." If I had been "welcomed", I'm not sure I would have stayed. I came five minutes late and left 5 minutes early (so I didn't have to talk to anyone). My sponsor came with me to one of my regular meetings to make sure I took a 6 month chip! Up to that point I had not raised my hand as a newcomer, I did not take a 30 day chip nor any of the others. I got to know other AA women and had 3 close AA buddies and they did all my talking at meetings for me! It was great! I must say though that taking that 6 month chip and sharing briefly (I thanked God, I thanked my sponsor and I thanked AA) was the beginning of my emotional sobriety. I believe we get what we need in the rooms of AA, maybe not what we want and I trust that my HP can and is holding the newcomer in the palm of His hand, just like I was held, though I didn't know it at the time. I do my best to be sensitive to the needs of others and I find that many times my HP uses me in spite of myself and my shortcomings; so as warped as I am, I still try to be the change I want to see in others.
Lydia V.

Anonymous
Heard At Meetings

Bill W wrote that sometimes the good can be the enemy of the best. He also wrote that sometimes the seeming temporary good can be the deadly enemy of the permanent best. When it comes to AA only the very best will do. Bring your message to those groups and see what happens. "kill the messenger" comes to mind. Start at the group conscience. If there is no such thing as a group conscience meeting, call one. If no one is interested in that, just start voicing your concerns when you share. No, it will not be easy. I have always thought, let someone else do it. Today, I am that "someone else". ANONYMOUS

TCTaco
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Joined: 2012-06-12
EGO

EGO = Edging God (of your understanding) Out

It is hard for me to do my Higher Power's will for me each day. Those thoughts from my ego creep in. The 11th step helps me with this problem. I also tell my sponsor about these thoughts, and he reassures me that I am doing the right thing. This usually involves not making any big changes or trying to change the way things are going to how I think that they should go.

clu1992
Offline
Joined: 2012-05-30
the right track

I just heard at a meeting saturday that you may be on the right track, but if you sit too long on the right track you will get run over by the train!

Anonymous
The Present Moment

"How are you?" I said. He replied, "Oh, I'm getting there!"

So, jokingly I said, "But you can never get there!"

"Why not?" he asked.

"You can never get there because you are always here!" We had a good laugh about it.

Anonymous
The Present Moment

You can never get there because you are alwaya here -he turns an sayes But here is ware its @

Anonymous
Expectations

"Expectations are resentments under marching orders"-Anonymous.

anonymous
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Joined: 2012-03-04
Big Book Joke!

"We avoid retaliation or argument." (page 67)

TCTaco
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Joined: 2012-06-12
Who Is AA For?

AA is not for those that WANT IT. AA is not for those that NEED IT.
AA if for those that DO IT!

Anonymous
Who is AA for?

Alcoholics Anonymous is very much for those who need it.
How many of us really wanted AA when we first came? Most
come in looking for a reason not to stay or come back.
We give them plenty of reasons in today's A.A. Most have
to do with the demands we make of them, such as DO IT!
ANONYMOUS

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