Heard At Meetings
A member was 17 years sober. He was helping a young man who was just 17 days sober. The older man said, "Come with me now to make a 12 step to a young man who rang me for help!"
The younger man protested, "But what good can I do? I am only 17 days since my last drink?"
The older man replied, "You are ideal for this call. He will identify more with you than me!"
""Why will he identify more with me than you?"
The older man replied, "I am 17 years since my last drink, you are 17 days since your last drink. SO YOU WERE LAST AT THE SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT!!!"
I would like to thank all the people who gave me praise and praises me for making it out of the burned down building I burnt down , How can I repay you? – Thank you
A member of AA carried the message to me.
I can repay him by carrying the same message to others.
A member of AA carried the message to me.
I can repay him by carrying the same message to others.
Are you an "And uh" or just an "uh"?
better than "ya know what I mean"
This is the only program I know where people come in and admit that their lives are unmanageable, but want to tell everyone else how to manage their lives!
Here us a parable. Mike got news one morning in the Seminary that his Dad died suddenly during the night. Pat. the senior student visited Mikes' room. "I know exactly how you feel Mike, my dad died during the night seven years ago!" Mike said, "No Pat. You don't know exactly how I feel. Please leave me, I want to be alone."
Pat went to the Dean of the Seminary and told him of his experience with Mike. "I had the same experience as Mike. I know how he feels." The Dean replied, "Listen Pat, Mike was right, you don't EXPERIENCE how he feels. Mike's Dad had not spoken to him for years!" But Pat said, "But I do know how Mike feels I had the same experience as he had!" The Dean replied, "Pat you did not have the SAME experience as Mike, but you had a SIMILAR experience!!!
"You could not have the same experience as Mike, because you are Pat and you are not Mike!!! You do not have Mike's experience of Mike's emotions, but you do have experience of your own emotions! That is why I say that you did not have THE SAME experience, but you did have a SIMILAR ONE!!!
This story taught me a lot! When I heard an AA tell his or her story, I assumed that I knew how he/she felt. Intellectually I understood what they said. But the story teller had the experience, in the totality of his or her being, in their bodies, their minds their spirits, their emotions and in the deepest caverns of their hearts. I do not feel as they feel, only they themselves have access to those deep dimensions of their hearts. I do not have direct personal access to those dimensions of their being. I have SIMILAR experiences to theirs but I do not have the SAME experiences and I need to remind myself again and again about this distinction. This helps me to pay greater attention to his or her story, and learn how they applied the 12 steps in the particular incident they are sharing. Today is the 10th. day in the month of June. It is the 78th. Birthday of A.A. Happy Birthday to ye all.
If you are waiting to be made fearless, ask for patience, lots of patience.
If it is courage you want, the wait is over.
God get inside my head before I do.If it be thy will.
I heard in a meeting that an individual's sponsor insists she quick taking her meds for severe clinical depression in Step 4. I believe that is ludicrous, it is the only way she can function in society. This individual is two years sober and doing well as a service member and her family life is finally coming together for her. Why would a sponsor insist upon something like this?
Because the sponsor is an idiot. Not following a doctor's advice is self-medicating - plain and simple.
Page 133 is very clear than we "...good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward."
Is there something elusive in "afterward" that I and not aware of?
A sponsor is in my life to show me what he did. He is not there to tell me what to do. I do not discuss my health issues at an AA meeting, neither do I discuss what medicine I have been given by the competent medical authority.
Keep it simple!
When I go to see my doctor, I do not read the AA preamble or Chapter 5 to him or her!
I go to discuss my health to him, and take his guidance and direction, because he trained and qualified to do so.
Some alcoholics have the delusion that they (personally) can do all things for another, including diagnosing diseases and perscribing medication or telling them not to take it. I am a Type 1 diabetic (being treated by an endocrinologist with insulin) and am being treated by a Psychiatrist for clinical depression (with an SSRI type antidepressant). I have had several "nutcases" tell me that I didn't need either of those medications! I thanked them for sharing their opinion, asked them where they got their Medical Licence, then suggested that they should call my MDs and tell The Doctors, not me, what they thought. I then told them that MY SPONSER had told me that the big book specifically states that there are good Doctors out there and we should be honest with them and follow their instructions. If I break my leg, I'd first want someone to take me to the hospital, not a meeting.
We are not doctors
Sponsor is a
Sponsor is a
" Dang it Jim, I'm only an alcoholic!" ~~ Dr. McCoy
We are not doctors. We don't give advise. We share our.ourexperience. if you don't have experience it's good to listen and send then to a power greater than you the doctor.
Because the only requirement for membership is being nuts. That's why everything important (like we are not doctors) is written down.
Think of any business or organization without any established standards, checks and balances. Now put someone in charge of it who may or not be crazy at any given time. Get the picture?
I was once at a meeting where the word "desire" was discussed; as in "The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking." Nothing there says you're excommunicated if you aren't able to stop yet.
Knowledge never made anyone relapse in AA. It's failure to practice the answer known.
What you don't know never made anyone relapse it’s what you think you know that is not so that causes the trouble.
Let go and let Joe - LOl
I was complaining to my Sponsor about how constantly busy and frazzled I am. She said "if you are over-whelmed it usually means you are under-surrendered." I silently growled, but I knew she was right . . .
I often hear folk say "I AM OVERWHELMED!"
I am in my 75th. year and I have yet to meet someone who was just "WHELMED!!!"
... i can identify with th@ - & - may be able to keep it in mind - next time i get the same way ! otis.
God is not looking for people to surrender he gives the courage and is not interested in cowards
God is interested in everyone therefore he is interested in cowards!!!
I am in my 75th. year now and my Sponsor is older.
He told me that a 20 year old asked him,"HOW DO I BECOME AN OLDTIMER?"
He replied, "Don't take the first drink, work the AA way of life, and by the way PLEASE DON'T DIE."
"Don't think, don't drink, and get to a meeting!"
An excellent piece of advice!
cant stop need help too weak two days trying for three.
pray for me!!!!!! jonny.
Almost three years ago, I send my first sincere prayer to God. Actually, I prayed to the dome light in the car. I asked for guidance and a sign I was doing what He wanted me to do. That's "God" Him, Her or It. Not of a religion or even what other AA's think God is. Just something greater than me. That's all.
I went into a meeting and met a sponsor there.
No one told me that no matter how bad it SUCKS, it WILL PASS, no matter what you do or don't do, AND that some days ARE going to suck, whether you are sober or not! They will just suck much more if you're high is all.
Know that the reason you use WON'T fix the issue of why you hurt. EVER. One you know that in your heart, atheist or not, you're ready 110% to quit. Because getting high doesn't help.
Call another AA, get or call your sponsor. Know it's OK to hurt, feel sad, cry, be furious, etc. Go for a run; that worked well for me, especially when I'm furious! Eat something. Talk to someone. Volunteer at PAWS or somewhere that speaks to you. "Get OUT of yourself!" As they say. Ask about someone else, and REALLY HEAR the answers.
Go see a movie you have been waiting on. Read a brand-new book. Sniff a fresh puppy! Learn a new language. Work on your typing skills or anything you always wanted to learn.
It's not ABOUT weakness, Jonny, TRUST ME. It's a mental illness, as stated in "The Dr.'s Opinion" at the start of the Big Book of AA.
NEVER, EVER pick up that first drink. LITERALLY! Knock it over if you have to.
It WILL get better, it's just that part of your mind hates you and you don't have much practice doing other things besides using yet. It's been three years, and TRUST ME, the day will come when you wouldn't trade your worst day sober for your best day stoned out of your mind, because you KNOW you always have to pay for it later!
May like Dr. Amen's Change your Brain, Change your life, book about SPECT scans and alcoholism.
you already have stopped. we are all weak and need each other. my sponsor
dared me to be a burden,make mistakes and do what i didn't want to do--which was everything. Because i am weak, i am sober 42 years. i need you
Try to let go and let God if you can't rely on God find an outside sponsor a parole officer may help you for a while when all else fails come on back and try A.A. next time and if God runs you out sponsors are known to blame God for it too.
send you my prayers and love. remember we are all weak. we need each other.
to know you are weak will be your strength. i am sober 42 years and it
i still resist going to meetings which saved my life. i pray for willingness to do
what i don't want to do. i have learned to shake hans with my humanity--i
am weak-i am human. i will always be. love you. we are here for you.
My prayers our with you.
You say, "can't stop need help too weak two days trying for three." But you did stop for two days ONE DAY AT A TIME. Well done friend, trying for three, you say, that is wonderful
Thanks for very encouraging sharing.
Turn it over to God
Don't think? I have yet to meet a living human being who can actually not think, at least while awake.
Don't drink? How many times have alcoholics been told, "don't drink" by non-alcoholics. If we were able to "don't drink" we wouldn't need AA.
Get to a meeting? Well, at least it will keep you off the streets and out of the bars for an hour or so.
AA meetings do "get you off the streets and out of the bars for an hour or so."
Exactly. And that is a huge piece of the wisdom that is AA. A better place to be. A better choice than self destruction.
You become one with the crowd.
You forge common goals.
You are not alone.
You have courage.
And all the time you have been creating these better experiences, you are not drinking.
A equals B equals C.
should you approach a newcomer to offer your self to be their sponsor or should you always wait for them to ask you
What? You have the solution. Most likely they don't know they have a problem or there in denial about having a problem. You are armed with some facts about yourself. Just ask them can you tell them your story. You.can gain there confindence when know one.else can.
How about "You want to go out for coffee after the meeting? I'm buying".
I think it comes under the heading "If you want what we have and are willing..."
The newcomer can't develop much of a sense of "What we have until he (she)spends some time with us.
My 2 cents.
Success and failure are always temporary!
The only place where SUCCESS comes before WORK is in the DICTIONARY!!!
Have been chairing a “As Bill sees it” meeting for a while. A few times I took someone quietly aside after the meeting and tried to explain the difference in sharing our experience from analysis, advice and other material found on the ground behind male cows. I finally printed out cards with the following information and left one with each book around the table. I can’t duplicate the format here but the word experience is BOLD and the quotes that aren’t experience are strikethrough.
After the meeting I offered one of the worst offenders a copy to take home and he smiled and showed one already in his shirt pocket. I’m sure an intelligent man, a retired air force officer but he just didn’t understand “sharing experience” until it was spelled out. I’ve made hundreds of such mistakes myself. A big part of AA, explaining a few simple ideas in enough ways so we all finally “get it”. If you have chronic advice-givers or over-thinkers in your group feel free to copy this and pass out some bookmarks.
We share our experience –
“What I think…..” Your thinking
“I think what we do……” Your analysis
“I think what people should do…” Your advice
“What I should do…” Your uncommitted speculation
“What they told me…” Who knows?
“What I do is….” Your experience
“What I have done…” Your experience
“When … happens, I feel….” Your experience
“What I read in the Big Book….” Our recorded experience
I told my counsellor that I could read people's minds. SHE SAID, "YOU ARE SITTING IN A ROOM WITH ANOTHER PERSON. YOU ARE BOTH SILENT. YOU SAY THAT YOU CAN READ THEIR THOUGHTS! I REPLIED, "YES. I CAN." SHE SMILED AND REPLIED, "WHEN YOU ARE IN THIS SITUATION, THE ONLY MIND YOU HAVE ACCESS TO IS YOUR MIND AND YOUR THINKING!!!"
THEN YOU MAKE A NECKLACE OF YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND MENTALLY HANG IT AROUND THEIR NECK!!! AND SAY THAT THEY ARE THINKING THOSE THOUGHTS!!!"
I THINK THAT THIS WAS A LIGHT BUB MOMENT FOR ME, I REMIND MYSELF OF THAT MANY TIMES EACH 24 HOUR PERIOD. COME TO THINK OF IT, IF WE COULD READ EACH OTHER'S MINDS, WHAT NEED WOULD THERE BE OF HUMAN LANGUAGE?
Awesome.... My wife and I had a nice little discussion of this last night. 31 yrs of marriage we have been 'reading each other's minds' a lot lately. Assuming we know each others thoughts, intentions, reactions. Truly errodes the peace of mind. Thank you. Seeing this over my morning coffee/quiet time must be my topic for prayer and change today :)